If you've added me on Facebook, the joke is on you. That's not mine. A friend asked me if she could make me an account a few months after graduation when everyone was unemployed and bored. At first i figured, "what the hell why not?" but now its causing some confusing. I'll be closing that account in a while when people have had the chance to read my status message explaining everything.
Why don't I have a facebook? I dunno. Convince me.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Planning Phase - Asia: Reflection 001
Making all these plans, it’s inevitable for me to stop and think and look at what I’m doing every once in a while (as apparent in my last entry). So I decided to post, along side of my planning efforts, a couple of reflective thoughts as well.
Despite all my excitement in planning this thing, I may have mentioned that I didn’t want to plan it at all. And now the more that I plan, the more I want my plans to push through. And the more I’ll feel bad when they don’t. That’s why I didn’t want to make plans in the first place. But now I realize that not making plans is not about avoiding setting myself up for disappointment. Its exactly the opposite. It’s about opening my mind to all other possibilities instead of being fixated on something that I panned months in the past (a moment that’s gone now). It’s about carpe diem, seizing the day.
I realized this because I was considering not booking the Everest base camp in advance because its cheaper with a local agency but I was too scared that I’d go all that way only to find that I wouldn’t make it to base camp at all. But then I remembered writing that there’s so much to do in Nepal. Everest base camp, though it might be the best, is far from the only thing worth going for.
So, I will continue to make my plans and I will try to follow them as best I can. But what I won’t do is get bummed out when things don’t go my way. Come to think of it, this is how I was living right after grad. I wonder what happened to make me shrivel up again.
Planning Phase - Asia: 003 -Still Stuck on Everest Base Camp
I’m still a bit stuck on the idea of getting to the Everest base camp. I’ll already be there. Why not right?
Or maybe I shouldn’t go to Nepal at all. I’d have to bring Alpine gear and then I’ll end up lugging that around for another two or three months just for the month I spend in Nepal. That’s gotta be bulky in my pack. I wonder if I can survive in Nepal on just jeans and thermal undies.
Anyway, it’s a good thing I didn’t dismiss it right away. I found much cheaper option. It’s a 16 day trek to Everest base camp for 650USD including food and lodging. That’s about a fifth of the price I originally found. Maybe I can find something even cheaper in the future.
16 Day 650USD Everest Base Camp (Cheapest so far)
I found it here:
http://www.realadventures.com/listings/1155828_16-Days-Everest-Base-Camp-Trek
(by google-ing “Cheapest Nepal Everest Base Camp” hehe. Forget about safety and comfort!)
The package is pretty much all in, so I don’t have to worry about much.
It includes:
Food
Lodging
Guide
Entrance Fees
Equipment
Pick up from Tribhuban International Airport
Sight seeing around Kathmandu Valley
40 minute flight to Lukla
About 5 hours of trekking a day for 9 days with acclimatization rest days in between
40 minute flight back to Kathmandu
It Excludes:
Travel Insurance (Mandatory for booking - crap, how much?)
Hotel and meals in Kathmandu (10USD hotel/night)
Nepal Visa 40USD
Miscellaneous costs
Departure tax from Airport 28USD (If I go to India after, I won’t need this)
Medical evacuation in case of emergency (hahahaha great!)
[Note: I have to remember that Nepal is the pivot point of my trip. India is the farthest west I want to go but Nepal has a bigger draw so I’d rather center my trip on it.
A flight to Nepal passes HK (and Macau is not far from there). I’m leaning towards starting with Macau the HK then Nepal then making my way back to Vietnam by road. That way, I can make an early booking to Nepal without tying myself down to an IT. And probably save a lot of money in the process.
On the other hand, this might be the zenith of my trip and everything else may pale in comparison.
Here’s another one!
15 Day 650USD Everest Base Camp
Similar itinerary http://www.addictedtotravel.com/holidays/everest-base-camp
Without food (Allow USD300) but with guesthouse and lodges
No insurance mentioned though
Sleeping bags, jackets and other equipment can be rented for 2USD a day. Good to know! That solves my bulk problem.
Local Nepali Tour Agency
Supposed to be much cheaper and easier to bargain in person.
http://www.nepalmakalu.com/everest_bc.htm is a local site but the rates aren’t listed. I emailed to inquire about them. Their IT is 19 days but it includes and extra day.
Getting to Nepal
http://www.travellerspoint.com/forum.cfm?thread=15354
3 ways
From Delhi:
Delhi to Gorkhpur by train. Gorkhpur to Sanauli/Bhairawa ( border town),just 2 hours by bus.
From Kolkata:
Kolkata to Raxaul by train. Raxaul to Birganj by cycle rickshaws or three wheelers.
From Darjeeling to Kakarbhita and cross over to Nepal.
This is the cheapest and though not easiest way to reach Nepal.
From all the border towns inside Nepal, get direct buses to Kathmandu and Pokhra.
Trains are supposed to be “dirt cheap”
Other Options:
156 USD gets me a birds eye view of Everest from Kathmandu with Buddah Air but… nah…
Still to find:
Travel insurance
Thoughts:
Alpine clothes are supposed to be cheap there. I read about someone buying a jacket, gloves, hat and sleeping bag for 50USD in 2004. That’s even cheaper than Baguio! Though, I won’t leave everything to chance. I’ll spend a couple of days in Kathmandu to canvass/tour around just the same.
There are options to either camp or stay at a lodge during the nights on the way to base camp. I’d imagine tents are cheaper but I also read that the lodges are a good way to immerse yourself in the culture. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be miserable in a tent for the whole trip.
I guess its Macau, HK, Nepal India then road trip to Vietnam and possibly Malaysia. Hey, I’m getting somewhere!
Theres so much to do in Nepal. I wonder where my time would be best spent.
This part of the trip will have to be timed well for good weather.
This trip would be a great excuse to buy that hand pump water filter I always wanted to buy. It could save me a lot of cash on bottled water. Not sure if it works for heavy metals and stuff though.
I read somewhere last time that you can buy a small chain and padlock to lock your pack to the train in India sometimes. Might be handy.
Since I’m considering booking my base camp trek when I get there, it makes it more difficult to get the timing right. Too close to peak season and its expensive, too far and I’ll be alone and going alone usually means its expensive too. Plus… I’ll be alone! September sounds good climate wise. October to May is off monsoon season.
Have to get used to the idea of computing everything in terms of dollars…
Flight from Manila to Hong Kong is 3000PHP Cebu Pacific
Next to plan is the Macau HK part
Good websites:
TravelPunk.com
http://www.travelpunk.com/boards/indian-sub-cont/13045-everest-base-camp-september.html
LonelyPlanet.com
Standing Facts so far:
Budget:
Manila to Macau 1,500PHP (32 USD)
Hong Kong to Kathmandu (5 hrs) 3,810.00 HKD (492 USD)
Destinations:
Maybe Macau
Hong Kong
Kathmandu
India
Estimated Lenght so far:
Just under a month
Or maybe I shouldn’t go to Nepal at all. I’d have to bring Alpine gear and then I’ll end up lugging that around for another two or three months just for the month I spend in Nepal. That’s gotta be bulky in my pack. I wonder if I can survive in Nepal on just jeans and thermal undies.
Anyway, it’s a good thing I didn’t dismiss it right away. I found much cheaper option. It’s a 16 day trek to Everest base camp for 650USD including food and lodging. That’s about a fifth of the price I originally found. Maybe I can find something even cheaper in the future.
16 Day 650USD Everest Base Camp (Cheapest so far)
I found it here:
http://www.realadventures.com/listings/1155828_16-Days-Everest-Base-Camp-Trek
(by google-ing “Cheapest Nepal Everest Base Camp” hehe. Forget about safety and comfort!)
The package is pretty much all in, so I don’t have to worry about much.
It includes:
Food
Lodging
Guide
Entrance Fees
Equipment
Pick up from Tribhuban International Airport
Sight seeing around Kathmandu Valley
40 minute flight to Lukla
About 5 hours of trekking a day for 9 days with acclimatization rest days in between
40 minute flight back to Kathmandu
It Excludes:
Travel Insurance (Mandatory for booking - crap, how much?)
Hotel and meals in Kathmandu (10USD hotel/night)
Nepal Visa 40USD
Miscellaneous costs
Departure tax from Airport 28USD (If I go to India after, I won’t need this)
Medical evacuation in case of emergency (hahahaha great!)
[Note: I have to remember that Nepal is the pivot point of my trip. India is the farthest west I want to go but Nepal has a bigger draw so I’d rather center my trip on it.
A flight to Nepal passes HK (and Macau is not far from there). I’m leaning towards starting with Macau the HK then Nepal then making my way back to Vietnam by road. That way, I can make an early booking to Nepal without tying myself down to an IT. And probably save a lot of money in the process.
On the other hand, this might be the zenith of my trip and everything else may pale in comparison.
Here’s another one!
15 Day 650USD Everest Base Camp
Similar itinerary http://www.addictedtotravel.com/holidays/everest-base-camp
Without food (Allow USD300) but with guesthouse and lodges
No insurance mentioned though
Sleeping bags, jackets and other equipment can be rented for 2USD a day. Good to know! That solves my bulk problem.
Local Nepali Tour Agency
Supposed to be much cheaper and easier to bargain in person.
http://www.nepalmakalu.com/everest_bc.htm is a local site but the rates aren’t listed. I emailed to inquire about them. Their IT is 19 days but it includes and extra day.
Getting to Nepal
http://www.travellerspoint.com/forum.cfm?thread=15354
3 ways
From Delhi:
Delhi to Gorkhpur by train. Gorkhpur to Sanauli/Bhairawa ( border town),just 2 hours by bus.
From Kolkata:
Kolkata to Raxaul by train. Raxaul to Birganj by cycle rickshaws or three wheelers.
From Darjeeling to Kakarbhita and cross over to Nepal.
This is the cheapest and though not easiest way to reach Nepal.
From all the border towns inside Nepal, get direct buses to Kathmandu and Pokhra.
Trains are supposed to be “dirt cheap”
Other Options:
156 USD gets me a birds eye view of Everest from Kathmandu with Buddah Air but… nah…
Still to find:
Travel insurance
Thoughts:
Alpine clothes are supposed to be cheap there. I read about someone buying a jacket, gloves, hat and sleeping bag for 50USD in 2004. That’s even cheaper than Baguio! Though, I won’t leave everything to chance. I’ll spend a couple of days in Kathmandu to canvass/tour around just the same.
There are options to either camp or stay at a lodge during the nights on the way to base camp. I’d imagine tents are cheaper but I also read that the lodges are a good way to immerse yourself in the culture. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be miserable in a tent for the whole trip.
I guess its Macau, HK, Nepal India then road trip to Vietnam and possibly Malaysia. Hey, I’m getting somewhere!
Theres so much to do in Nepal. I wonder where my time would be best spent.
This part of the trip will have to be timed well for good weather.
This trip would be a great excuse to buy that hand pump water filter I always wanted to buy. It could save me a lot of cash on bottled water. Not sure if it works for heavy metals and stuff though.
I read somewhere last time that you can buy a small chain and padlock to lock your pack to the train in India sometimes. Might be handy.
Since I’m considering booking my base camp trek when I get there, it makes it more difficult to get the timing right. Too close to peak season and its expensive, too far and I’ll be alone and going alone usually means its expensive too. Plus… I’ll be alone! September sounds good climate wise. October to May is off monsoon season.
Have to get used to the idea of computing everything in terms of dollars…
Flight from Manila to Hong Kong is 3000PHP Cebu Pacific
Next to plan is the Macau HK part
Good websites:
TravelPunk.com
http://www.travelpunk.com/boards/indian-sub-cont/13045-everest-base-camp-september.html
LonelyPlanet.com
Standing Facts so far:
Budget:
Manila to Macau 1,500PHP (32 USD)
Hong Kong to Kathmandu (5 hrs) 3,810.00 HKD (492 USD)
Destinations:
Maybe Macau
Hong Kong
Kathmandu
India
Estimated Lenght so far:
Just under a month
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Planning Phase - Asia 002: How could I forget Hampi?
First of all, I changed the name of my post from Planning Stage to Planning stage. Why? That’s just how I roll. I change everything on the fly.
*Dorky white boy dance*
Ok Hampi. How could I forget Hampi?! Hampi is this famous bouldering area in India. I saw it in a rock climbing video once with Chris Sharma, Nate Gold and Katie Brown. Looks a-friggn-mazing! I don’t know much else about it except that.
According to http://www.hampi.in and some other sources, I can get there by train in 2 days and 2 nights for 9USD in the lowest class (Second Class aka Cattle Class!!). Not bad if I have the time but I don’t know if I really want to spend that long on a train just to get to Hampi if I’m not in shape by that time (I’ll. Hampi is at the Southern end of India in Trivandum (while Nepal is North of India). It’s way out of my way. If I go that far, I’d want to drop by Bombay and Hyderabad at the very least. Maybe I can get Falk to show me around Sri Lanka.
Getting to Hampi
232INR (5USD) - Hyderbad to Hopset (to get to Hampi) – sleeping class train
198INR (4USD) - Goa to Hopset – sleeping class train
10INR (.20USD) – Hopset to Hampi – 30 minute bus
15INR (.30USD) – Shared Auto Rickshaw (taxi?)
Note: Touristy stuff can be planned before hand in Hopset.
In Hampi
30-40INR - Bike rental per day
Note: mopeds are more expensive (150INR) maybe I’ll splurge on the last day
5INR – Coracle ferry (Plus 10-15INR with a bike)
Hampi Ruins
Car Hire : About Rs 600 to Rs 800 per day (includes driver allowance).
Generally people hire car from Hospet and travel onward to the Hampi ruins. Remember car cannot take you to all the ruins site in Hampi. Be prepared for some considerable legwork, that is, if you are serious about ‘exploring’ Hampi.
Tonga (horse carriage) : About Rs 50 to Rs 100
That is for a typical short to medium exclusive trip from one monument to another (say from the Sacred Center to the Royal Centre or to the Vittala Temple). Tongas are slow but funny and environmentally friendly alternative to explore the ruins site.
Lodging
50-200 INR at the Hampi Bazaar
Can be anything from a hut to a rooftop with a family inside
Food
South Indian breakfast – Rs15
Breakfast (western type) – Rs60
South Indian meals – Rs25
Dinner with special dishes – Rs100 to Rs 200
Packaged drinking water – Rs15 per liter.
For entrance fees, guide fees and the like… http://www.hampi.in/cost.htm CLOSED ON FRIDAY
Note: Set aside around 1000 INR for whole day of touring?
Still to find:
Bouldering
More travel options to get there from different places.
Someone to boulder with?
Thoughts:
Maybe I should make a policy where I stay an extra day everywhere I go, just for a chance to do something unexpected. It really depends on my budget I guess.
Whew, planning is gonna be hard. I jumped from Nepal to Hampi without considering what’s in between. But I realize more and more that it will save me money too.
I’m getting too excited about Hampi. Maybe I should save it for another time. 2 days of travel one way. Unless I find stuff to do in between, I wouldn’t be able to justify it.
On the other hand… HAMPI!!!
*Dorky white boy dance*
Ok Hampi. How could I forget Hampi?! Hampi is this famous bouldering area in India. I saw it in a rock climbing video once with Chris Sharma, Nate Gold and Katie Brown. Looks a-friggn-mazing! I don’t know much else about it except that.
According to http://www.hampi.in and some other sources, I can get there by train in 2 days and 2 nights for 9USD in the lowest class (Second Class aka Cattle Class!!). Not bad if I have the time but I don’t know if I really want to spend that long on a train just to get to Hampi if I’m not in shape by that time (I’ll. Hampi is at the Southern end of India in Trivandum (while Nepal is North of India). It’s way out of my way. If I go that far, I’d want to drop by Bombay and Hyderabad at the very least. Maybe I can get Falk to show me around Sri Lanka.
Getting to Hampi
232INR (5USD) - Hyderbad to Hopset (to get to Hampi) – sleeping class train
198INR (4USD) - Goa to Hopset – sleeping class train
10INR (.20USD) – Hopset to Hampi – 30 minute bus
15INR (.30USD) – Shared Auto Rickshaw (taxi?)
Note: Touristy stuff can be planned before hand in Hopset.
In Hampi
30-40INR - Bike rental per day
Note: mopeds are more expensive (150INR) maybe I’ll splurge on the last day
5INR – Coracle ferry (Plus 10-15INR with a bike)
Hampi Ruins
Car Hire : About Rs 600 to Rs 800 per day (includes driver allowance).
Generally people hire car from Hospet and travel onward to the Hampi ruins. Remember car cannot take you to all the ruins site in Hampi. Be prepared for some considerable legwork, that is, if you are serious about ‘exploring’ Hampi.
Tonga (horse carriage) : About Rs 50 to Rs 100
That is for a typical short to medium exclusive trip from one monument to another (say from the Sacred Center to the Royal Centre or to the Vittala Temple). Tongas are slow but funny and environmentally friendly alternative to explore the ruins site.
Lodging
50-200 INR at the Hampi Bazaar
Can be anything from a hut to a rooftop with a family inside
Food
South Indian breakfast – Rs15
Breakfast (western type) – Rs60
South Indian meals – Rs25
Dinner with special dishes – Rs100 to Rs 200
Packaged drinking water – Rs15 per liter.
For entrance fees, guide fees and the like… http://www.hampi.in/cost.htm CLOSED ON FRIDAY
Note: Set aside around 1000 INR for whole day of touring?
Still to find:
Bouldering
More travel options to get there from different places.
Someone to boulder with?
Thoughts:
Maybe I should make a policy where I stay an extra day everywhere I go, just for a chance to do something unexpected. It really depends on my budget I guess.
Whew, planning is gonna be hard. I jumped from Nepal to Hampi without considering what’s in between. But I realize more and more that it will save me money too.
I’m getting too excited about Hampi. Maybe I should save it for another time. 2 days of travel one way. Unless I find stuff to do in between, I wouldn’t be able to justify it.
On the other hand… HAMPI!!!
Planing Stage - Asia
I'm planning a trip around Asia. I'm not sure exactly how to go about it yet but all I know is that as soon as i get tired of my job (maybe in a year or two), I'm taking this trip around Asia.
I'm posting my planning efforts here and I'll post every so often to get productive comments from anyone about pretty much anything. You can suggest and comment about places to go, things to do, traveling tips, things to avoid, people to meet up with along the way, food to try, budget concerns, travel options etc.
I'm prone to massive digressions and poor spelling so bear with me.
Short background: I was supposed to do this after grad and my dad already agreed to it but then I got a job (and had my heart broken). But now I'm back on track. Originally, I thought, if I had it my way, I'd fly to Calcutta and do my best to make it to Vietnam by land. No itinerary, no companions. Of course, certain countries make it impossible not to plan because of the need for Visas. But looking on the bright side, planning also is something for me to look forward to everyday after work. And, I'm not stuck on the no companions idea anymore. You're free to join me on parts of my travels but on the whole, I'd rather not have to consult anyone in terms of plans and itineraries.
I have a Canadian passport so i think that means i have access to commonwealth countries without a visa and I will get my Philippine passport (soon I hope) so that means I'll have access to Southeast Asian countries.
Laslty, I don't have much money so this will be a budget trip. I'm paying for it myself. To keep it cheap, I don't plan on going to expensive countries like Singapore, Korea and Japan. I'll save that for another time.
Here's what I've come up with so far (Its not much but its just came to me before i had to go to work. I'm actually at work right now taking a short break.):
Nepal
How to get there:
Connecting flight through HK (That means I might as well go to HK! ...Holy crap, that's 50k already!)
Land trip through India.
I may turn my trip backwards and make my way from Vetnam to India then to Nepal and finally HK before coming home.
What to do:
Nature tripping. It's the home of Everest base camp (right?) but I'm not planning on buying alpine gear so I'll put that off for now. The mountains and landscape have got to be awesome.
India
Of course is inevitable. I guess I want to see the Taj Majal and the Ganges. I'm too inexperienced of a traveler not to be cliche about some things. In fact, travelling around the Philippines, I usually avoid tourist spots but maybe around Asia I'd want to meet more tourists.
that's all for now.
Standing budget: Way more than 50k
I'm posting my planning efforts here and I'll post every so often to get productive comments from anyone about pretty much anything. You can suggest and comment about places to go, things to do, traveling tips, things to avoid, people to meet up with along the way, food to try, budget concerns, travel options etc.
I'm prone to massive digressions and poor spelling so bear with me.
Short background: I was supposed to do this after grad and my dad already agreed to it but then I got a job (and had my heart broken). But now I'm back on track. Originally, I thought, if I had it my way, I'd fly to Calcutta and do my best to make it to Vietnam by land. No itinerary, no companions. Of course, certain countries make it impossible not to plan because of the need for Visas. But looking on the bright side, planning also is something for me to look forward to everyday after work. And, I'm not stuck on the no companions idea anymore. You're free to join me on parts of my travels but on the whole, I'd rather not have to consult anyone in terms of plans and itineraries.
I have a Canadian passport so i think that means i have access to commonwealth countries without a visa and I will get my Philippine passport (soon I hope) so that means I'll have access to Southeast Asian countries.
Laslty, I don't have much money so this will be a budget trip. I'm paying for it myself. To keep it cheap, I don't plan on going to expensive countries like Singapore, Korea and Japan. I'll save that for another time.
Here's what I've come up with so far (Its not much but its just came to me before i had to go to work. I'm actually at work right now taking a short break.):
Nepal
How to get there:
Connecting flight through HK (That means I might as well go to HK! ...Holy crap, that's 50k already!)
Land trip through India.
I may turn my trip backwards and make my way from Vetnam to India then to Nepal and finally HK before coming home.
What to do:
Nature tripping. It's the home of Everest base camp (right?) but I'm not planning on buying alpine gear so I'll put that off for now. The mountains and landscape have got to be awesome.
India
Of course is inevitable. I guess I want to see the Taj Majal and the Ganges. I'm too inexperienced of a traveler not to be cliche about some things. In fact, travelling around the Philippines, I usually avoid tourist spots but maybe around Asia I'd want to meet more tourists.
that's all for now.
Standing budget: Way more than 50k
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Suspension of Disbelief
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
Contextually, Juliet was referring to Romeo’s name, his family name specifically. But let’s forget about the context for now.
I once fell in love with “…a Capulet in the balcony of [my] mind” (Semisonic – Singing in My Sleep). And, whether it was just my perception (my mind) or the actual girl who changed (or both), something definitely changed. I feel awkwardly attached to something that just plain blatantly doesn’t exist.
I say “something” and not “someone” because, as of this writing, I still can’t say if it’s Juliet or the idea of Juliet or even just the predicament that I miss.
It’s a bit like the feeling I get after reading or watching a favorite novel or a feature film. For all intents and purposes, be it based on true life or true fantasy, novels are, by nature, fictive. They’re lies, great lies but lies. They’re made up. So, no matter how badly I want to joust with Sir Elrich, befriend Leslie Burke or pick Howard Roark’s brain, I never will. I remember curling up into a ball eating chocolate while reading the third Harry Potter book for the second time and tearing up for no apparent reason when I realized the true power of suspension of disbelief.
And, after all, that’s what I’m doing now. Suspending my disbelief. Who is Juliet now that we each stop talking when one walks in on the other’s conversation? Who is she now that we no longer update each other with one another’s lives and talk about our dreams? Hearing her name used to make my face blush and my heart swell. Now, I imagine, it makes my face fall and my heart – fill in the blank.
The Juliet I knew is fiction now. She might as well have been made up too. The way that I talk about her, the way that I still insist on projecting her image onto the brains in the heads of unwitting shoulders, the way that I still catch myself thinking about her every day is little more than fiction now.
For what is in a name? It works both ways. You can call a daisy a rose but at the end of the day, you’re only fooling yourself.
Despite the logic, here I am.
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
Contextually, Juliet was referring to Romeo’s name, his family name specifically. But let’s forget about the context for now.
I once fell in love with “…a Capulet in the balcony of [my] mind” (Semisonic – Singing in My Sleep). And, whether it was just my perception (my mind) or the actual girl who changed (or both), something definitely changed. I feel awkwardly attached to something that just plain blatantly doesn’t exist.
I say “something” and not “someone” because, as of this writing, I still can’t say if it’s Juliet or the idea of Juliet or even just the predicament that I miss.
It’s a bit like the feeling I get after reading or watching a favorite novel or a feature film. For all intents and purposes, be it based on true life or true fantasy, novels are, by nature, fictive. They’re lies, great lies but lies. They’re made up. So, no matter how badly I want to joust with Sir Elrich, befriend Leslie Burke or pick Howard Roark’s brain, I never will. I remember curling up into a ball eating chocolate while reading the third Harry Potter book for the second time and tearing up for no apparent reason when I realized the true power of suspension of disbelief.
And, after all, that’s what I’m doing now. Suspending my disbelief. Who is Juliet now that we each stop talking when one walks in on the other’s conversation? Who is she now that we no longer update each other with one another’s lives and talk about our dreams? Hearing her name used to make my face blush and my heart swell. Now, I imagine, it makes my face fall and my heart – fill in the blank.
The Juliet I knew is fiction now. She might as well have been made up too. The way that I talk about her, the way that I still insist on projecting her image onto the brains in the heads of unwitting shoulders, the way that I still catch myself thinking about her every day is little more than fiction now.
For what is in a name? It works both ways. You can call a daisy a rose but at the end of the day, you’re only fooling yourself.
Despite the logic, here I am.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The Return of Another Comeback Again (Short Version)
(Medyo sabog ang pagkasulat)
The other day, I asked Dennis when he started climbing. I had a follow up question in mind, “How do you keep going?” Unfortunately, I never got to ask my follow up question. That’s because Dennis said that he’s been climbing just as long as I have. He started in 1998 with me and Aldwin.
Dennis is one of the pillars of the Rock Climbing community in the Philippines having owned his own boulder gym and organized national bouldering events among other things. He’s climbed and competed all around the world and had his “Sharma Experience” early on. All this made me think that he’s been around for so long; that he must have experienced this almost mythical “Glory Day” period of Philippine climbing that I’ve always heard of.
When I told him about what my follow up question was supposed to be, Dennis had no answers for me.
There was a time when the question was inverse. “How could you stop!?” I would always scream inside whenever I saw that a climber had turned into a shadow of their former selves. In my 11 years of climbing, I saw this much more than I’d have liked to. I saw it happen to climbers I looked up to, girlfriends, best friends and champions alike. It especially hurt with my peers.
The name Tagoy Ledesma comes to mind first. Tagoy was my first real “rival” in climbing. His cousin Pipoy was a talented climber who could beat us seemingly without trying but I always felt that Tagoy and I both had more heart than the others. It’s not just that we outlasted our peers and stayed in the sport longer than they did but we were both underdogs by nature. We had a good four year run placing one right after the other in junior national competitions but one year, the Bacolod climber just didn’t show up. Later, I competed against him again in an open men’s competition in Bacolod but by that time, I felt almost like I’d lapped him. I finished second and he finished eighth for that leg.
Meanwhile, being an Atenean was taking its toll on me. I was struggling to pass high school. The year that I won the X-games, I had no close friends until after I’d actually won. It’s hard to make friends when you sleep between classes, during recess and lunch and you have training after school.
The next season (from summer to August or September of second year high school) happened to be the first year that I decided to move on to open competitions and let the junior competitions ride in the back seat. I did pretty well for my first year. I ended up 6th in the climbing circuit that year (just one place from being on the national team) but at a price. I’d failed Araling Panlipunan. Taking summer classes wasn’t just bad for my records, it took a toll on my training too. I was afraid to fail.
The next year was third year high school. It was the year that all the teachers said that colleges looked at. I was afraid to fail. Come end of climbing season in august, I got into the national team but after that, I made a decision to stop climbing. Around this time, I was also having trouble with my climber girlfriend. I wasn’t that enthusiastic to climb anymore anyway. I still failed math and had to take summer classes. Meanwhile, my brother and sister were both honor students. My parents sort of accepted me as the one who doesn’t try hard enough at school but they kept on my ass anyway.
In retrospect, this is the first time I gave up on climbing as my life’s calling. Trying to get into Ateneo for collage was like a wakeup call. It was time to stop living in my childish fantasies of climbing with Chris Sharma and Katie Brown and Yuji Hirayama and Francois LeGrand in a magical land where there was no such thing as paying the bills or building a career.
In retrospect, because I gave it up so easily (I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would), I realized that I’d never be as passionate about climbing as I once was.
Along the way, my parents built and closed down 2 climbing gyms, my sister had her own issues with climbing, Hugo called me a bum who just slept and ate (which was true), I made a comeback but I also had and lost another climber girlfriend, Hugo had a falling out with my parents, he told me that he had nothing left to teach me, that I’d surpassed him and stopped coaching me, climbing in the Philippines began to die and I got into Ateneo and I became a mountaineer.
My sister became this kick ass national climber who competed internationally. Once, after watching her on the x-games, my dad asked me, “When are you gonna climb again?” I know he didn’t mean it but I felt so betrayed. Giving up climbing was the hardest decision I ever had to make and the easiest at the same time. Climbing was my passion but passing school and getting into Ateneo, that was me trying to be responsible. That was me trying to make my parents proud. A four letter word screeched in my head so loud that I could have stopped trying then and there just to spite him. But I didn’t. And despite that, I never really came back to climbing.
When I was just starting out, I told Hugo that I wanted to be like Simon Sandoval in ten years. Three or four years later, he told me to aim higher because I’d already reach that goal. With all due respect, he was wrong. Hugo spoke too soon. I might have been on my way but life got in the way.
Here I am now. I’m turning 23 in May.
I should be at the peak of my career but instead I’m starting over for the Nth time. For the past five years or so, I’ve been in limbo. I’ve been stopping and starting every couple of months. I’d train to get good enough to do some problems that most people can’t and just when I gain confidence, I’d stop. On 6 months, off 4, on 2 months, off 5, on and off and off and on.
I’m turning 23 and I ask, “How do I keep going?”
I can hear a faint echo, “How can you not?!”
I’m honestly not sure how relevant that voice is anymore.
Is this really the return of another comeback again?
The other day, I asked Dennis when he started climbing. I had a follow up question in mind, “How do you keep going?” Unfortunately, I never got to ask my follow up question. That’s because Dennis said that he’s been climbing just as long as I have. He started in 1998 with me and Aldwin.
Dennis is one of the pillars of the Rock Climbing community in the Philippines having owned his own boulder gym and organized national bouldering events among other things. He’s climbed and competed all around the world and had his “Sharma Experience” early on. All this made me think that he’s been around for so long; that he must have experienced this almost mythical “Glory Day” period of Philippine climbing that I’ve always heard of.
When I told him about what my follow up question was supposed to be, Dennis had no answers for me.
There was a time when the question was inverse. “How could you stop!?” I would always scream inside whenever I saw that a climber had turned into a shadow of their former selves. In my 11 years of climbing, I saw this much more than I’d have liked to. I saw it happen to climbers I looked up to, girlfriends, best friends and champions alike. It especially hurt with my peers.
The name Tagoy Ledesma comes to mind first. Tagoy was my first real “rival” in climbing. His cousin Pipoy was a talented climber who could beat us seemingly without trying but I always felt that Tagoy and I both had more heart than the others. It’s not just that we outlasted our peers and stayed in the sport longer than they did but we were both underdogs by nature. We had a good four year run placing one right after the other in junior national competitions but one year, the Bacolod climber just didn’t show up. Later, I competed against him again in an open men’s competition in Bacolod but by that time, I felt almost like I’d lapped him. I finished second and he finished eighth for that leg.
Meanwhile, being an Atenean was taking its toll on me. I was struggling to pass high school. The year that I won the X-games, I had no close friends until after I’d actually won. It’s hard to make friends when you sleep between classes, during recess and lunch and you have training after school.
The next season (from summer to August or September of second year high school) happened to be the first year that I decided to move on to open competitions and let the junior competitions ride in the back seat. I did pretty well for my first year. I ended up 6th in the climbing circuit that year (just one place from being on the national team) but at a price. I’d failed Araling Panlipunan. Taking summer classes wasn’t just bad for my records, it took a toll on my training too. I was afraid to fail.
The next year was third year high school. It was the year that all the teachers said that colleges looked at. I was afraid to fail. Come end of climbing season in august, I got into the national team but after that, I made a decision to stop climbing. Around this time, I was also having trouble with my climber girlfriend. I wasn’t that enthusiastic to climb anymore anyway. I still failed math and had to take summer classes. Meanwhile, my brother and sister were both honor students. My parents sort of accepted me as the one who doesn’t try hard enough at school but they kept on my ass anyway.
In retrospect, this is the first time I gave up on climbing as my life’s calling. Trying to get into Ateneo for collage was like a wakeup call. It was time to stop living in my childish fantasies of climbing with Chris Sharma and Katie Brown and Yuji Hirayama and Francois LeGrand in a magical land where there was no such thing as paying the bills or building a career.
In retrospect, because I gave it up so easily (I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would), I realized that I’d never be as passionate about climbing as I once was.
Along the way, my parents built and closed down 2 climbing gyms, my sister had her own issues with climbing, Hugo called me a bum who just slept and ate (which was true), I made a comeback but I also had and lost another climber girlfriend, Hugo had a falling out with my parents, he told me that he had nothing left to teach me, that I’d surpassed him and stopped coaching me, climbing in the Philippines began to die and I got into Ateneo and I became a mountaineer.
My sister became this kick ass national climber who competed internationally. Once, after watching her on the x-games, my dad asked me, “When are you gonna climb again?” I know he didn’t mean it but I felt so betrayed. Giving up climbing was the hardest decision I ever had to make and the easiest at the same time. Climbing was my passion but passing school and getting into Ateneo, that was me trying to be responsible. That was me trying to make my parents proud. A four letter word screeched in my head so loud that I could have stopped trying then and there just to spite him. But I didn’t. And despite that, I never really came back to climbing.
When I was just starting out, I told Hugo that I wanted to be like Simon Sandoval in ten years. Three or four years later, he told me to aim higher because I’d already reach that goal. With all due respect, he was wrong. Hugo spoke too soon. I might have been on my way but life got in the way.
Here I am now. I’m turning 23 in May.
I should be at the peak of my career but instead I’m starting over for the Nth time. For the past five years or so, I’ve been in limbo. I’ve been stopping and starting every couple of months. I’d train to get good enough to do some problems that most people can’t and just when I gain confidence, I’d stop. On 6 months, off 4, on 2 months, off 5, on and off and off and on.
I’m turning 23 and I ask, “How do I keep going?”
I can hear a faint echo, “How can you not?!”
I’m honestly not sure how relevant that voice is anymore.
Is this really the return of another comeback again?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)