dru

The New Plan

2009-09-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

After my trip to Palawan, I began to see how impractical my plan was. To a certain extent, EJ was right. Not in the sense that I shouldn't be traveling this early on, that I should be building my career first, but in the sense that one-time-big time is not enough. I will never be satisfied with the amount of traveling that I have in my archives. As such, I have a new goal in life - to be able to move from place to place throughout my life and always have the ability to come back to the Philippines.

I've come up with a plan (with backup plans) to make this happen. TMy first plan is to get a working holiday visa to anywhere. A working holiday visa is a special visa that allows you to work a menail job in a foreign country in order to help pay off your vacation. Typicall, this lasts one year. Its sort of an exchange program, where only a few countries are participating and give mutual permission to each others' citizens.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_holiday_visa

Since I'm a Canadian citizen, I can theoretically avail of this. The problem is that I need an NSO certificate of birth to apply for it from here. My birth certificate is from Canada. In order to get my NSO certificate, I need several other papers from Canada.

As such, my plan is to go straight to Canada and hang out for a while, paying off my plane tiket and hopefully saving up some cash as well. While there, I'll see how the lifestyle suites me.

Now, the large half naked man that I met in Palawan who has been traveling for 5 years straight makes his money by teaching english in Korea. Unfortunately, usually only take citizens of f a native speaking country who also have a bachelors degree in that country.

If the lifestyle suits me in Canada, I might pursue that degree or even better, a mastoral one. If not, I'll take my working holiday visa and go.

I plan to go in Feb or march. The timing is perfect because it will be right after the Christmas break, and for another reason that I'm not at liberty to divulge.

Worst case scenario, I get to visit my brother in Canada and see the sights. Then I'll come home and use what I have left on the cut-down version of my Asia trip.

After that, I can take masters in education since they're begining to hire Filipino teachers in Korea, but you have to be certified.

Wish me luck.

Planing Phase - Asia

2009-03-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

It's been difficult to figure out what to post since most of what I'm doing now is just accumulating directions into word files called "Travel by Land" (I've reached Cambodia from KL) or "Shiznit that has to be done in the Philippines" (The lodges in Mt. Kinabalu have to be reserved months in advance), and the like.

The reason why it has come to this is because I've pretty much planed everything I want to plan. There’s still much to learn and I have to get a better idea of my budget and travel time but I’m fairly sure it could be done the way I want to do it
That said, this might be my last entry for a while unless I find something amazing to rave about.

And, WAHOOOOO!!!! I set a date and plan!

It was exhausting to try to find a way to make it work so that I wouldn't hit any of the countries during monsoon season for that particular country. Being that Nepal will probably be the hardest part and is, as I've mentioned, the pivotal part of my trip, I began from there.

The best time to climb Nepal is in September to November. The problem with that is, somewhere towards the later half but still in the middle of my trip. If I were to put Nepal at the beginning (fly from Bangkok to Nepal and make my way back) over 4 months, I’d be spending Christmas somewhere in India or Bangladesh. While I’m not totally against spending Christmas away from my family, I also had to remember that prices get jacked up during the holidays.

Or if I made it so that my trip ended in September, I’d be hitting monsoon season in Bangladesh and Myanmar. These are the rainiest countries I’ll ever have been to, based on what I’ve read. It also might complicate traveling by bus. Though, this was my second best plan and my contingency if things don’t work out.

I said that Nepal was best in September to November but its also pretty good from December to February and except that it’s colder and from March to May except that it rains from time to time. I chose the latest option so that I could save the largest possible amount of money from work before I quit (or ask for a four month leave).

I’ll be in Nepal by May. Incidentally, I can schedule it so that I REACH EVEREST BASECAMP ON MY BIRHTDAY!!!!! The original schedule was a bit more sentimental where I’d actually leave on my birthday but this works just as well.

So I’ll be leaving for Kota Kinabalu in early March to climb Mt. Kinabalu. I hope LM can join me for this part though it will be before graduation for some of them next year. Since Malaysia is so expensive compared to the rest of Southeast Asia, I’ll try to bring lots of food and water from home.

Then I’ll fly to KL where I’ll take a train into Thailand and a bus to Krabi (Climbing Mecca) for about a week. I estimate this will between the second and third week of March.

From there, I’ll make my way through Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar and Bangladesh (Still don’t know what to do in these countries) over land before heading to Nepal through India. It should be early May by this point and I’ll go straight on through to Nepal for Everest base camp.

After Nepal, I’ll go around India and stay two to four depending on how much money I have left. Maybe I can even spend a week in Sri Lanka or Hampi. I’m sure I won’t lack in activities.
From Bangkok, maybe I’ll stay a week and visit the 7 tier waterfall Leonardo DiCaprio jumped from in the movie “The Beach”. And then its back home to Manila from there.

I have the budget for Nepal and Malaysia pretty much planned out (and attached - Multiply only) if you’re interested. I’m still working on the rest but will roughly cost me 1000PHP a day for travel in any of those countries not including the activities involved like the trek to EBC, entrance fees to national parks that don’t have hostels inside, and just plain drinking.

If anyone has suggestions on where to go, I’m completely open.
Wohhoooooh! Feel free to invite yourself! Dru_525@yahoo.com.

NEVER Piss Off Your Designer

2009-03-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

or this might happen:

http://www.lto.gov.ph/proc1.html

Planning Phase Asia: 009 - Nepal -It was COLD – The outside of my sleeping-bag often being covered in ice...

2009-03-22T08:21:00.000-07:00

Natuwa ako sa comment na to: “It was COLD – The outside of my sleeping-bag often being covered in ice in the mornings when I awoke – and that was Inside the lodge!!”

Found that on some random forum.

I did a little computation and skipping HK and Macau could save me 1200USD 60k off hand (Wahoo!) but it also cuts my trip down by about a week and a half or two. Conceivably, I can make enough money by July of next year and still have a pretty good buffer of savings for when I get back home, unemployed. That's still including Everest base camp (with an Agency!)

I also have more time now so I can take a bus to Jiri and trek for a week to get to Lukla, where most people start their Everest base camp (EBC) trek. This SHOULD be cheaper than taking a plane and it will also help me acclimatize for the trek to EBC. I’ll probably stay a couple of days to a week in Lukla for a break between the week long Jiri-Lukla trek and the two week EBC trek. That means about a month spent in Nepal alone. Still better than spending 650USD = 32,500PHP just for the round trip Kathmandu-Lukla airfare. Even if I break even, I’d rather spend on experience than convenience.

Also, I bet I can make it cheaper by not hiring a porter or an agency. I hope there’s a way to only hire a personal guide. That will save me at least 200USD or 10,000PHP.

Package deals from Kathmandu to Jiri to EBC are typically 21- 24 days long. They involve flying back to Kathmandu from Lukla. I figured I’d start by finding one-way airfare rates from Lukla to Kathmandu. Unlike my other flight plans, I’ll only be able to book two (from lukla) or three weeks+++ (from kathmandu) in advance.

I will be flying during peak season so these can’t be that accurate. To simulate buying peak season tickets only 2 weeks in advance, I’ll take the rate of increase from regular fare to peak season fare and multiply it by the 2 week in advance fare. I’ll also put a buffer or 10%. Weekends are usually most expensive so I’ll book on a Friday for the most expensive scenario. Its important to note that prices are different for foreigners and locals, not just due to taxes.

FAIL!

After all my strategizing, the websites doesn’t have automated fare calculation systems. The fares are tabulated in lists (no peak season rates):

113USD = 5,458PHP Yeti Airlines (http://yetiairlines.com)

109USD Sita Air (http://www.sitaair.com.np/)

97USD Gorkha Airline (http://www.gorkhaairlines.com/)

83USD = 4,009PHP (Royal) Nepal Airlines (http://www.manang.com/international_domestic_daily_flight_schedules/domestic_flight_schedules/royal_nepal_airlines_foreign.php)

Prices are exclusive of tariff = 121USD (but the trekking websites don’t mention this. (http://www.impala.com.np/english/nepal_air.php#air)

Domestic Airport Tax is 170NPR = 3USD

Cool site with all prices
http://ammarguni.com.np/air_ticketing.html

Jiri to EBC
It turns out that my plan to book a flight 2 weeks ahead from Lukla wouldn’t have worked. Lukla is out of the way from Jiri to EBC. Trekkers don’t always pass there. I’ll have to book as soon as I’ve arranged my EBC plans. If prices don’t change though, I can just book when I get back, just in case something happens on the way. I may even decide that the Jiri to Lukla trek was so nice and cheap that I’ll trek back to Jiri.

Here’s a website I found with pretty much everything I need (for once): http://www.lonelyplanet.com/thorntree/thread.jspa?threadID=1482747&tstart=0&limit=1000

Very Rough Break Down:

Kathmandu
5USD Average Hostel Price
2500NPR = 32 USD/day (1 day) Supposedly the price of tourism per day.
10USD 12 hour Bus to Jiri

Trek
100NPR = 2USD/night Jiri to Lukla (6 nights)
200-250NPR = 4USD/night lukla-EBC-Lukla (15 nights two in EBC)
400-700NPR =5-9USD /day Food 21 days
(700NPR/day porter)
1000 NPR 13 USD each for the Sagarmatha Park admission

10USD/day = Guide

83 USD Lukla to Kathmandu Airfare

Not sure if I have to add the 121USD tariff if I'm leaving Lukla.

Kathmandu
5USD Average Hostel Price
2500NPR = 32 USD /day (1 day)

Without Tariff: 303USD
WithTariff: 424

Come to think of it, none of the trekking websites mention this Tariff at all. This might be the deciding factor as to whether or not I fly to Lukla or take Jiri.

Also, it was posted in October 2007. I’ll probably be going in 2010 or 2011.

Kathmandu Tips:
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/nepal/kathmandu/transport/getting-there-away

Nepal Trekking :
http://www.transitionsabroad.com/publications/magazine/0701/trekking_the_himalayas_nepal.shtml

“Nepal has four distinct seasons. Spring, from March to May, is warm and dusty with rain showers. Summer, from June to August (GAH! MADHAV F*CKED ME AGAIN! I’ve been planning for the wrong time of year!), is the monsoon season when the hills turn lush and green. Autumn, from September to November, is cool with clear skies, and is the most popular trekking season. In winter, from December to February, it is cold at night and can be foggy in the early morning, but afternoons are usually clear and pleasant, though there is occasional snow in the mountains.”

http://www.trekinfo.com/about/whentogo.html

Wow, I know exactly when to climb now, it’s perfect but I think that deserves an entry on its own.

Apart from that, I’ll have to play everything by ear. Finding guides, buying or renting gear, getting around.

Plannin Phase - Asia: All is Fare in HK, Kathmandu, Bangkok and Malaysia

2009-03-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

I realized that I made a wrong computation with regards to the airfare to Kathmandu. The flight I searched was Cathay Pacific from Manila to Kathmandu via HK and it came out at around 50k. I don’t even remember if that was a weekend or weekday flight, which can affect the rates.

This time I’m looking for separate budget flights since I’ll be staying in HK/Macau for about a week anyway. I also have to check the different months since I don’t know when there are holidays and other events in the different countries that may affect the rates.

There are probably cheaper airlines than Cebu Pacific but Cebu Pacific is probably the most stable in terms of prices (not the actual airplane! Hahaha). I’ll need to book for June to August and December to February according to Madhav. Of course, prices can go up the later I book.

Unless otherwise stated, all prices are exclusive of taxes, boarding fees, etc. For my own reference, this entry was written on March 19, 2009.

Manila to HK

Cebu Pacific Zero Fare is 2,099PHP = 44USD

Manila to Macau

Cebu Pacific Zero Fare is 2,799PHP = 58USD

Hong Kong to Kathmandu

Cathay Pacific and Dragon Air (Including Airport Taxes)
23,912.10PHP = 491.51USD June 9, 2009 and August 18, 2009 (Tuesdays)
26,108.75PHP = 536.66USD December 8, 2010, January 19, 2010 and February 2, 2010 (Tuesdays)

I spent hours looking and I can’t find anything cheaper. I also can’t find any cheaper ones. I guess budget airlines don’t go from Hong Kong to Kathmandu.

I also spent some time looking at flights from Kathmandu going out.
Kathmandu to Hong Kong.

Royal Nepal Airlines from Kathmandu

Kathmandu Airport (Tribhuvan International Airport) Taxes

SAARC Countries: NPR 791 = 10USD
Other Countries: NPR 1130 = 14USD
Domestic Destinations: NPR 170 = 2USD
Tourism Service Fee: NPR 565 = 7USD (Should be paid along with airport tax while leaving Nepal.)

SAARC Countries: India, Pakistan, Srilanka, Bangladesh, Maldives,Bhutan, Nepal

They don’t have an automated system so I guess these will have to do:

From Kathmandu

Normal Fare
150 to Delhi
265 to Banglore (closer to Hampi but it’s still much cheaper to take a train)

For Foreign Nationals
220 to Bangkok
330 to Hong Kong

To Nepal

240 from Bangkok
595 from Hong Kong

Wow, it’s significantly cheaper to fly with Royal Nepal Airlines to HK and even cheaper to fly to/from Bangkok! If I cut out HK and Macau, maybe I can drop by Indonesia or Malaysia (Kota Kinabalu). Flights to/from Malaysia (KL) and Singapore are just 320USD.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of it but I could cut out Hong Kong and Macau all together and fly to Nepal from Bangkok. They were never really that appealing to me anyway. Not that I don’t want to see HK but, especially with budget flights, it seems like something I can do for a week or a weekend that doesn’t have to be part of this trip.

NEW BANGKOK ROUTE

Clark to Bangkok

Cebu Pacific Zero Fare is 3,299PHP = 69USD

Bangkok to Kathmandu

Thai Airways (Including Airport Taxes)
14,165 THB = 397USD = 19,104PHP June 9, 2009, August 18, 2009 and December 1, 2010

*Royal Nepal Airlines prices above

If I decide to end my trip in Kota Kinabalu…

Kuala Lumpur LCCT (KUL) to Kota Kinabalu (BKI)

Air Asia (Including Airport Taxes)

163.50MYR = 45USD (promo), 197.50MYR = 54USD (normal) June 9, 2009 (Tuesday)

107.50MYR = 30 USD (promo) August 18, 2009 (Tuesday), December 2, 2009 (Wednesday) and January 26, 2010

Malaysia Air (Including Airport Taxes)

161MYR = 44USD June 9, 2009, August 18, 2009 (Tuesdays) and December 2, 2009 (Wednesday)

Kota Kinabalu to Kuala Lumpur

Air Asia (Including Airport Taxes)

197.50MYR = 54USD (normal) June 9, 2009 (Tuesday)

107.50MYR = 30 USD (promo) August 18, 2009 (Tuesday), December 2, 2009 (Wednesday) and January 26, 2010

Malaysia Air

161MYR = 44USD June 9, 2009, August 18, 2009 (Tuesdays)

347MYR = 95USD December 2 (Wednesday)

Websites:
http://www.manang.com/
http://www.smarttravelasia.com/smallairlines.htm

Pwet Tree

2009-03-17T03:50:00.000-07:00

An Afternoon Conversation over Spilled Smoothie

In a café over conversation,
As surely as did melt that smoothie
That afternoon
Strawberry, mango, ice and all;

I put my lips to her,
Where once she blended
Into past concoctions
Of skin, and flesh, and core.

Today, her pieces lay in front of me,
In a café over conversation.
Instead of rubbing out the traces
On my skin, and flesh, and core,

Oblivious to the café goers,
Her stain became a part of me.
And drunk with her syrup
I did not wash ait down with bleach.

Planning Phase - Asia: Practice on Palawan

2009-03-16T03:55:00.000-07:00

This entry is a little different. I won a free Cebu Pacific ticket to Puerto Princessa, Palawan. It can be redeemed within six months. Ticket lang. Walang lodging. PERFECT!

Perfect for a little trial run. This trip will give me a chance to stretch my travelers legs before the actual thing. It's not that I don't want to go with anyone (my friends are welcome to join me) its just that I won't keep an itinerary and that might make it hard for a group thing. I want to go for a week in May before the rainy season. It also just so happens that I finally get leaves from work in May. If not, I’d gladly go during one of the more interesting festivals/fiestas at any time of year.

http://www.palawan.gov.ph/festivals.php

I was doing a little research for the trip and there are so many nice places to stay that it was hard to pick just one. So I’m not going to. I’m going to stay at all the places I like and hopefully more. I figure I’ll go for a week and stay in the beach first then maybe further in the city when I get tired of the beach. Strangely, a lot of the websites have German translations. I guess there’s a good chance I’ll meet some Germans.

There’s this one place, Bambua in Sabang (2-4 hours jeep from the city), it’s a nature park resort and only 200PHP a night, common bath. I definitely want to stay there for a while. The bahay kubo cottages look like they’re inside the rainforest. Exactly what I’m looking for in other countries for my Asia trip.

How to get there:
Public Jeepneys leave for Sabang at the new Public Bus Terminal at San Jose, Puerto Princesa. It is better to be early at the Terminal. The best time to travel the route to Sabang is with the 7 AM Jeepney or the the 9 AM Bus. Until around 3 PM several Jeepneys are departing for Sabang.

There’s a place closer to the airport called Banwa Pension Resort. I’ll probably stay here on the night of my arrival. 250PHP a night, probably common bath. Judging from the photos and self-description, it seems very artsy. They claim that you won’t hear the usual Kareoke blasting from speakers and that they play native instruments at night. There’s also some kind of stationary bike that you have to ride if you want electricity at night. Hahaha! Sounds quirky and fun!

How to get there:
Supposedly, tricycles from the airport and harbor know how to get there. If not, the website suggests that I get dropped off at B. Mendoza St. and “…ask one of our friendly neighbors who will point you in the right direction.” How friendly.

Of course, Palawan won’t be complete if I don’t stay at a beachfront resort. I’ll leave this one up to chance. Maybe I’ll stay in a cushier place since this will be the first time I’ll be leaving Luzon (aside from Singapore) since I’ve had a job and can afford better. Yup. Just because I have the money.

Puerto Pension looks like the place to spend if ever. It looks like a giant 4 floor bahay kubo (why are all the places I choose kubo’s?). Or, maybe a place with a pool. No point in spending more money in a place to sleep if there’s no draw like a pool or a spa or something. Free wi-fi got me thinking that maybe I can work while on vacation some time. I wonder what EJ (my boss) would say to that. Hahaha. He’ll hate me.

Most of the resorts have all the tours: Underground River, Sabang Beach Snorkling, Mangrove River Paddle Tour, Daylight Hole, Lion's Cave Sabang. I wonder if there’s a way I can do the tours without going through a resort. That would definitely be cheaper. I’m not sure if I want to go to the nature preservation sites or go canoeing among the mangroves unless I find someone to go with. It feels like something to do with a group or family.

Prayer answered:

http://www.pinoylakwatsa.com/2009/02/puerto-princesa-palawan-revisited-part_08.html

I should buy a map of Puerto Princessa. National Book Store?

I think the websites that I found pretty much speak for themselves:

http://www.banwa.com/
http://www.bambua-palawan.com/
http://www.pal-onl.com/pension/
http://www.palawan.gov.ph/natural.php
http://www.blogtoplist.com/rss/puerto-princesa.html

Need Rules for my Trip!

2009-03-11T17:23:00.000-07:00

I know the theme of the trip is supposed to be independence and freedom and all but I was thinking, it might be interesting/fun to come up with a couple of rules for my trip. Not too many. Just enough that I can remember them all. Stuff like, always order the spiciest thing on the menu. They can really general like, be spontaneous or completely specific like, scream "PUTANGINAMO MADHAV" at the top of my lungs if I ever get to Everest base camp.

Maybe, sing Rhett Miller's Come Around every time i check into a new hostel? hahaha.

Any suggestions?

Planning Phase - Asia: 007 - The Gateway to Southeast Asia

2009-03-09T17:11:00.000-07:00

1 baht = 1.34346623PHP = 0.027666 USD

The golden nugget that I was waiting for was dropped into my lap about a week ago but I didn’t realize it until last night. My sister went to Thailand earlier this month and mentioned a place called Khao San Road in passing. I didn’t think much of it at the time until I told myself that I never force on any part of this trip, not even planning. I would do things as I wanted to. And any sort of planning seemed so daunting a task to take on after what I went through with Nepal. I didn’t know how to start again.

Fittingly the place where I’m starting was coined ‘The Gateway to Southeast Asia’. Normally, I wouldn’t flock to where the crowds are but this will be at the very beginning of my trip when I’m still unsure of myself and it would be nice to start out in a backpacker friendly environment, which is exactly what Khao San Road presents itself to be.

In a tourism ploy that could have turned bad for lack of accommodations, tourists started looking and successfully found residents to stay with and pay lodging fees. The guest house business grew from there.

Getting there:

150 baht AE2 bus will go directly to Khao San Road for 150 Baht = 202PHP = 4USD. 40-60 minutes.

35 Baht BMTA bus. Ask the driver "Bpai Banglampu mai" (are you going to Banglampu) which is within walking distance to Khao San Road. Walking distance is pretty relative but I’m inclined to take this risk. 115 Baht is a huge difference but the website says that BMTA can be confusting. If I get lost and end up spending more, I would have spent the money on a welcome adventure!

For future reference, if the transportation takes more than two hours, I might want to travel half the way, spend the day or stay the night and explore somewhere along the way before traveling the rest of the way. I’m also willing to spend more on transpo if the transpo is an experience in itself (like a ferry) or will save lots of time (like the MRT).

Places to stay:

Judging from the pictures, their budget hotels are pretty much the most expensive places that I would pay for in the Philippines (around 450PHP/night/head) at around 650 Baht = 874PHP 18USD (Thai Cozy House) for pretty much the works (TV, fridge, hot water etc), 400 Bhat (Nana Plaza) or 250 Baht for a single fan and shared shower, (Chart Guesthouse and Restaurant). That’s probably not including taxes.

I think it might be okay to spend on a midrange room on some occasions but this isn’t one of them. Knowing me, the only thing I’ll be doing in a room in the city is sleeping and showering. Air-con rooms are for the beach if at all.

Places to visit nearby:

The Grand Palace and the Emerald Buddha (Wat Prakaew), Wat Pho, the National Library, Thammasat University Library, International Art Museum, and Sanam Luang (The King's Park).

I might spend two or three days doing that and settling in.

From there, I definitely want to go to (things to plan for the future):

Khao Yai National Park
-Jungle treks
-7 tier waterfall
-elephants and other wildlife
+This place is definitely me, wanted to put an exclamation point after every point.

Bangkok Floating Market
-One day
+I know there are a few of them but I don’t think I have to go to all. Maybe the biggest and the smallest, maybe just the nearest.

Nightlife
+No need to plan. I’m sure I can find my way around at night and ask for tips from the hotel or other travelers. I imagine I’ll be sleeping from sunset when I get back from my tours until around 10 or 11pm where I’ll go out at night and see what’s up. Sana.

Krabi
-Climbing Mecca in Thailand
-Beach
-Travelers destination
+I might not go. I don’t want to force myself to go just because I’m a climber and I want to see the place. I’d rather go with other Filipinos and make an entire month long trip of it. I’m sure a week won’t be enough.

As for historical places other than temples and other beaches, although I won’t actively avoid them, I probably won’t concentrate on them since we have the most beautiful beaches in the Philippines and there’s so much else to see. Plus I can go to Krabi some other time and I will be going to Goa.

Helpful little unorganized website: http://www.khaosanroad.com/

Random Lyrics for the Broken Hearted

2009-03-09T06:47:00.000-07:00

It happens at different times of my life that lyrics from a random song won't stop popping into my head. Last time it was If You Could Only See by Tonic. It had little to do with what was going on in my life at the time. In fact, I couldn't even understand the message despite the kinship I felt with the persona.

"If you could only see the way she loves me, maybe you would understand,
Why I feel this way about our love, and what I must do.
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says,
When she says she loves me."

To the best of my literary abilities, my guess was that this guy was trying to convince his friends how much his love for this girl was right despite how wrong it seemed otherwise. It got me so bad that I took out my guitar after years of not playing and learned how to play this single song.

Today (yesteday since its already 1am) it was Disease by Matchbox 20. I didn't even particularly like this song when I first heard it in high school. It was okay. I was used to Matchbox 20 being much more than okay. But today, the lyrics seem to have a depth that wasn't there before. Or maybe its I who now has the depth to understand what I couldn't understand before. Someone recently told me that a lover assigns things to events when there's really nothing there. I think she was quoting Shakespeare.

Regardless, the first two stanzas hit me particularly hard when I actually researched the lyrics. If I'd heard them six months ago, every encounter with anyone who might be reading this would have been different.

Here are they are:

Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody's heart break
But now I have to let you go
I have to let you go

You left a stain
On every one of my good days
But I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go

No one's ever turned you over
No one's tried
To ever let you down,
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease

Feels like you're making a mess
You're hell on wheels in a black dress
You drove me to the fire
And left me there to burn

Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life, oh was magic
Beautiful girl
I can't breathe

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease
I think that I'm sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won't take long till
I'm free of my disease

Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease

I think that I'm sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won't take long till
I'm free of my disease
Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease

50 Random Thoughts

2009-03-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

This is called 50 FIRST REACTIONS

My cousin had this on her blog and I was actually curious what I’d come up with. I did my best to erase her answers even before reading anything so nothing would influence mine and I swear I never touched the backspace button while answering.

1. Beer: Yahoo!
2. Food: Mmm
3. Relationships: Nope
4. Your CRUSH: Wow…
5. Power Rangers:
6. Life: is waiting for you
7. The President: The president?
8. Yummy: Candy
9. Cars: Motorcycles
10. Movie: I wanna write one
11. Halloween: Candy!
12. Sex: deprived
13. Religion: funny place
14. Hate: making mistakes at work
15. Fear: my own stupidity
16. Marriage: maybe
17. Blondes: Girls
18. Slippers: beach
19. Shoes: Travel
20. Asians: Chinese (hahaha so closed minded)
21. Pass time: eat
22. One night stand: Gahh!
23. My cell Phone: sucks
24. Smoke: air
25. Fantasy: Final Fantasy VIII
26. College: Life
27. High School Life: Gay
28. Pajamas: Boxers
29. Stars: Camping
30. Fitness Center: Hahaha waste of money
31. Alcohol: Deprived
32. The word love: Why just the word?
33. Friends: A TV show
34. Money: Travel
35. Heartache: Travel
36. Time: Travel
37. Divorce: Travel (Labo)
38. Dogs: Nice to have, hard to care for.
39. Undies: none when possible
40. Parents: Love
41. Babies: I want!
42. Ex: Marks the spot
43. Song: Insomnia Craig David (I’m broadening my musical horizons)
44. Color: Ateneo Blue
45. Weddings: White
46. Pizza: 22 inch Xtreme at Xtreme Xpresso
47. Hangout: bum
48. Resto: Causeway on Libis
49. Goal: Be great!
50. Inspiration: Others

Planning Phase - Asia: Reflection 002

2009-02-28T06:11:00.000-08:00

A thought came about when I was trying to decide what to plan for next (which I’ve been passively doing for the last week).

As much as I love the idea of just taking off for months at a time throughout the years of my life, I’m beginning to see the limitations of my plan. One major factor, of course, is money. If I was to stick with the original one-time-big-time plan, I’d not only have to quit my job, I’ll probably exhaust my savings on the trip as well. And, the more I get comfortable with my job and my relatively high salary (for a writer) the harder it seems to become to let it go.

On the other hand, isn’t that wussing out? Isn’t that just trying to be safe? The whole point of this trip, the whole point of my life right now is adventure. Traveling two or three weeks at a time is something I know I can do. But three or four months is downright daunting. It’s friggn scary. And I love the idea.

Yet, it can’t be the most efficient way to travel. Nepal is about three weeks on its own, India is another two weeks minimum. I’ll end up spending about a week in HK and Macau combined. If I were to limit my trip to four months (and four months worth of budget), I’d only have about a week and a half to explore some of the other countries attached to the mainland (I’m trying not to fly as much as possible). That doesn’t include travel time.

Considering that I’ve been in the Philippines for years and, despite my efforts, haven’t seen a fraction of what it has to offer, I can’t help but reconsider.

I find that I have these big ideas like ‘Everst Base Camp’ and ‘Traveling Asia’ and whatnot but when I start to plan, instead of finding ways to make them work, I find a million ways to water them down. That’s probably why I didn’t want to make any plans in the first place.

But then again, blah blah blah, Just Go!

Dilema of a Twelve Year Old

2009-02-20T15:38:00.000-08:00

Let’s say that you’re twelve years old and get an allowance of P100 a day. Hypothetically, the government taxes you 30% of your allowance. But that’s okay, you’re twelve and you don’t really need to spend on anything except for the occasional inuman at your house a month and maybe a lunch or dinner out twice a month and maybe a trip to the mountain or beach. Being a twelve year old commuter, you also have to shell out for the commute to your child labor facility.

Stay with me.

Then, completely hypothetically, let’s say that you wanted to travel Asia before the age of 15. As it is, you’re just barely on your way to saving enough hypothetical money to get the money within 3 years.

Now let’s say that you quit the child labor facility and decided to sell your soul for twice the amount. With this amount of money plus the money already saved up, you could feasibly travel Asia by the age of thirteen (two years early!). BUT, and this is completely hypothetical, what if you’ve also been dreaming of buying a motorcycle since you took motorcycle classes when you were nine or ten.

Here’s the big question.

(And this is completely hypothetical.)

Would it be so bad to stick to the original 3 year Asia plan and buy a brand new motorcycle for about P1000? Or to cut the Asia plan into 2 separate Asia plan and do Southeast Asia first? Or to buy the motorcycle 2nd hand and sell it before Asia and end up spending about P120-170 for a bike that you could only own for a year? What would your twelve year old do?

Papagulo: Why does he need a motorcycle? He doesn’t! It’s just really, really cool! But then again, does he really NEED to travel Asia either?

A twelve year old soul awaits your comments.

Planning Phase - Asia: 006 Boring Stuff... Visas

2009-02-19T04:04:00.000-08:00

To explain a bit, I have two passports (actually wala pa ung Fil pero kukuha ako asap.) The Fil one should let me into most Southeast Asian Countries while I’m hoping the Canadian one gets me into the British colonies.

Filipino Passport:

Unless otherwise stated, its visa-less entry with passport:

ASEAN:

Cambodia 21 days
Indonesia 30 days
Laos 30 days
Malaysia 1 month
Singapore 30 days
Thailand 30 days
Vietnam 21 days

Non-ASEAN Asian:

Bangladesh 90-day visa issued upon arrival for US$50
Hong Kong 14 days
Macau 30 days
Nepal 60-day visa issued upon arrival for US$30
Sri Lanka 30 days

For Indian tourist visa: US$40
*2 piece passport size pictures
*Passport valid at least for 6 months
*Return Ticket or Airline Computer Print out with Ticket Numbers

Canadian Passport:

Hong Kong 90 days
Malaysia 3 months

No info about India. I was hoping it was one of the British colonies I could get into for free.

Good to know but I’m not planning to go yet:

China 48-hour transit (Shanghai only)
Japan 90 days
South Korea 6 months
Australia pre-arrival Electronic Travel Authority required
3 Months in most European countries and 6 months in UK! Wahoo!!!

Planning Phase - Asia: 005 - How Madhay F*cked Me

2009-02-16T18:17:00.000-08:00

I did a little digging on the wonderful World Wide Web and made a booking inquiry on a website called RealAdventures.com and they forwarded my message to Skyline Treks and Expeditions. I’m guessing this is a Nepalese agency based solely on the fact that the guy I ended up talking to was named Madhav. I’m guessing that’s a guy’s name…

Anyway, the guy sent me an itinerary and added me on YM. I also got a couple other itineraries from other companies but I’m not comfortable posting them here if only for the fact that they weren’t posted on the websites. There might be copyright issues or something. Feel free to ask me to send them via email though.

So here are some excepts from our conversation and some comments:

“skylinetreks: hello
skylinetreks: How are you ?
skylinetreks: I am from Nepal
skylinetreks: I've received your query from the real adventure regarding the Everest base camp trekking”

Notice the perfect English in the beginning. *smirk*

“skylinetreks: travel insurance cost per day US$ 10 it covers for rescue as well
dru_525: I see
dru_525: that's separate from the 650USD stated on the website?
skylinetreks: If you (necessity) rescue without insurance cost per hr US$ 1850 only
skylinetreks: You required minimim 3 hrs
skylinetreks: 16 days trip cost US$ 991+ 14 DAYS INSURANCE COST US$ 140 = TOTAL AMMOUNT US$1131 only”

ONLY KA DYAN POTAH!

I was only expecting to pay 650USD! It turns out the 650 doesn’t include the flight from Kathmandu to Lukla. On the website, the flight is supposed to be included.

But wait, there’s more!

“dru_525: what other costs should I expect aside from what you just told me?
skylinetreks: all your personal day to day accommodation, Flight from and to Lukla, your travel insurance, Kathmandu Hotel on your seperate
skylinetreks: pay by yourself”

Crap!

“dru_525: and how much will he be able to carry for me?
skylinetreks: Tips after complete the trip is necessity
skylinetreks: Maximum25 KG
dru_525: I see, what's customary for a tip?
skylinetreks: depend on the service
skylinetreks: if you are much more happier than you have expected you can give US$ 100 each otherwise US$ 30-50.... can be expect
dru_525: That's a bit ironic since I'm hoping to be happy but I'm honestly on a tight budget.
dru_525: heh
dru_525: hehe
skylinetreks: ok you can give tips US$ 30 each
skylinetreks: no problem”

Double crap!

I think I can carry my own 25KG plus water. I didn’t get to ask if I could go without the porter. He did say:

“dru_525: I there a place I where I can leave my other baggage while on the trek?
skylinetreks: you may store in the hotel or in our office without any cost (It's free)”

Finally, some good news!

Here’s some other interesting stuff. I pretended that I was planning to go next month so they’d reply right away.

“skylinetreks: when would you prefered for this trekking ?
skylinetreks: better to book as early as possible
dru_525: I was thinking of going as soon as possible but now, especially after this conversation, I might want to put it off for a year and make it a trip around Asia
skylinetreks: If you go to Pokhara for Annapurna Base camp Trekking, can be cheaper for you because you and your trekking guide does not necessity for the flight ticket
dru_525: I see
skylinetreks: can drive all the-way
dru_525: May I ask at what time of year its not too busy during the non-monsoon season?
skylinetreks: US$ 650 inclusiv of your meals while on the trekking, guide and porter fees etc...
skylinetreks: monsoon season is not good for trekking, because of ranny, lichess on the way, can't see the good view, sleepy on the way,
dru_525: I meant not during the monsoon season.
skylinetreks: winter season also not too busy but very cold,
skylinetreks: not too busy season during the June to August and December to February
dru_525: Alright
dru_525: I'm more likely to go during June to August
skylinetreks: ok
skylinetreks: may i send you Annapurna Base Camp Trekking Itinerary ?
dru_525: Sure
dru_525: I can't make any commitments right now in terms of booking but before I go, is there anything else I should be asking? What do people usually forget to ask about?
skylinetreks: no, nothing
dru_525: Alright. Thanks. You've been very helpful.”

Hay nako base camp hassle ka. I could always choose to make this an India-Nepal-HK trip or a Southeast Asia trip.

But NO! NO! NO! I DON WANNA! Hahahaha.

Game ako dito! Just GO!

Hi I'm dru and I'm a Coffee Drinker

2009-02-16T06:36:00.000-08:00

It was an uphill battle that quickly went from a coarse beginning to an overpoweringly lactic state, and then finally ended on a perfectly bitter-sweet note. But things are turning cold even as this blogger types.

Growing up, coffee was just one of those weird things that adults did that didn't make sense to me. Sure it tasted good. But everybody knows that coffee stunts your growth (which my mom finally admitted last week that she doesn't believe). So why bother?

Coffee was like smoking or drinking alcohol. Just weird.

Despite this, I learned early on that I had a proclivity towards addiction. Candy was my drug of choice and that addiction still haunts me to this day. I can't tell you how many times, after being sober for months, I binged on an innocent bag of Fruitos.

I wanted to say something cool like Jolly Rancher or Sweet Factory but no, that wouldn't be truthful. Fruitos is good and cheap.

When I was a kid though, it didn't matter what the candy was. And I wasn't the type to save the best for last either. With everything else, yes. With candy, no. My trick-or-treating bag was my stairway to heaven. I'd have the Jolly Ranchers and worked my way down the quality pyramid until all I had left were those sugar coated jelly orange slices that old people ate or licorice that wasn't even sticks!

And with this addiction to candy, I realized that I would eventually drink and I would eventually smoke and I would drink coffee and maybe drugs too. But, so help me, I was going to put it off as long as I could.

I dropped the ball with drinking in high school. Drinking = parties = girls. In high school, (high school nga lang ba?) girls = GOD! We were brave and stupid. We never had a chance. No... I need not say more. *tear*

I managed, despite all my efforts to impress smoker girls, to put off smoking until after college. Considering that my parents both smoke and my brother fell into at an older age, that was actually an achievement for me. A binge for me is two sticks during inuman. Otherwise its just... yuck.

With coffee though, if anything, the advent of the initial Starbucks sensation wave was a deterrent. P90 for something you could get in McDonalds for P20 or less AND it would stunt my growth? Forget that!

I was ignorant of the real possibilites that caffination could bring until I started working in Solar and, only actually having to work 2 hours out of my 10 hour day, staying awake was a daily battle. One that I armed myself with instant coffee to win. Iced and hot tea were also in my artillary but coffee was my H-bomb.

Working on the night shift at SEOP pretty much sealed the deal. I figured that real coffee was bound to be healthier than instant coffee and my mom gave me a brand new coffee maker we had lying around.

Today, I craved the cup even before work started, even before I got sleepy.

To my satisfaction, it took about three weeks but I'd finally made the perfect cup of coffee for me. It was made with a dash of fresh (well, UTH fresh) milk, unfinely ground coffee beans and a teaspoon of brown sugar. And with it came the realization that coffee would no longer be a means to an end but an end in itself.

I've joined a statistic group.

Hi I'm dru and I'm a coffee drinker.

Planning Phase - Asia: Extending India and Consequences

2009-02-15T03:47:00.000-08:00

I picked up a book from when my brother was getting ready to volunteer for the UN in India. The thing is that India has a lot to offer that much of the rest of Asian countries don’t. Originally, especially after I decided not to go to Hampi, India was just gonna be a stop over. A week tops. There’s supposed to be a route that goes straight from the Ganges to Nepal.

I was even considering not going to see the Taj Majal and going straight from the Ganges. But reading the book, I got interested in Kaziranga National Park (where you can ride elephants!) and Udaipur which is a city built in a lake and Jaisalmer which is a desert where you can ride camels. India is the farthest west I’ll be going so it might be the only country I’ll be going to that has a desert! Plus, if I do all of that, I might as well go and see what all the fuss about Goa is.

I’m beginning to think that I’ll be spending a lot more than just 3 months on this trip. Trek to base camp in Nepal alone is 16 days. Going around in Nepal, maybe a few more days. If I do all that stuff in India, I might spend three weeks there including travel time and about a week in Goa if Nick decides to come with me.

That would leave me with just one and a half months to go from Vietnam, passing 4 to 6 other countries to get to India traveling by road which takes really long in itself. Not to mention HK and maybe Macau. Assuming I divide it equally, that’s less than a week per country! I wanted to spend some time climbing in Krabi (Thailand) pa naman. One and a half weeks minimum if I’m in shape (which I plan to be).

Honestly though, I’m not that interested in going to the beach since the Philippines has beautiful beaches.

I am excited to report, though, that I’m taking pledges as early as (too early) now! Nick wants to go to Goa with me and I’m trying to get Geric to visit me in Thailand. Maybe I can talk to Nic Co about meeting me in HK.

I also mentioned Malaysia to Migoy in passing. I probably won’t go there anymore though since I’ve been there and, though I didn’t do much, I’m under time and budget constraints.

I would like to keep Nepal for myself though. I didn’t realize it until earlier but when my parents told me to ask the Kaya ng Pinoy guys about Everest base camp (maybe they wanted to go with me), I cringed. It seems like something I should do alone, like a pilgrimage.

Ending the Facebook Confusion

2009-02-15T01:20:00.000-08:00

If you've added me on Facebook, the joke is on you. That's not mine. A friend asked me if she could make me an account a few months after graduation when everyone was unemployed and bored. At first i figured, "what the hell why not?" but now its causing some confusing. I'll be closing that account in a while when people have had the chance to read my status message explaining everything.

Why don't I have a facebook? I dunno. Convince me.

Planning Phase - Asia: Reflection 001

2009-02-13T10:07:00.000-08:00

Making all these plans, it’s inevitable for me to stop and think and look at what I’m doing every once in a while (as apparent in my last entry). So I decided to post, along side of my planning efforts, a couple of reflective thoughts as well.

Despite all my excitement in planning this thing, I may have mentioned that I didn’t want to plan it at all. And now the more that I plan, the more I want my plans to push through. And the more I’ll feel bad when they don’t. That’s why I didn’t want to make plans in the first place. But now I realize that not making plans is not about avoiding setting myself up for disappointment. Its exactly the opposite. It’s about opening my mind to all other possibilities instead of being fixated on something that I panned months in the past (a moment that’s gone now). It’s about carpe diem, seizing the day.

I realized this because I was considering not booking the Everest base camp in advance because its cheaper with a local agency but I was too scared that I’d go all that way only to find that I wouldn’t make it to base camp at all. But then I remembered writing that there’s so much to do in Nepal. Everest base camp, though it might be the best, is far from the only thing worth going for.

So, I will continue to make my plans and I will try to follow them as best I can. But what I won’t do is get bummed out when things don’t go my way. Come to think of it, this is how I was living right after grad. I wonder what happened to make me shrivel up again.

Planning Phase - Asia: 003 -Still Stuck on Everest Base Camp

2009-02-13T02:56:00.000-08:00

I’m still a bit stuck on the idea of getting to the Everest base camp. I’ll already be there. Why not right?

Or maybe I shouldn’t go to Nepal at all. I’d have to bring Alpine gear and then I’ll end up lugging that around for another two or three months just for the month I spend in Nepal. That’s gotta be bulky in my pack. I wonder if I can survive in Nepal on just jeans and thermal undies.

Anyway, it’s a good thing I didn’t dismiss it right away. I found much cheaper option. It’s a 16 day trek to Everest base camp for 650USD including food and lodging. That’s about a fifth of the price I originally found. Maybe I can find something even cheaper in the future.

16 Day 650USD Everest Base Camp (Cheapest so far)

I found it here:
http://www.realadventures.com/listings/1155828_16-Days-Everest-Base-Camp-Trek

(by google-ing “Cheapest Nepal Everest Base Camp” hehe. Forget about safety and comfort!)

The package is pretty much all in, so I don’t have to worry about much.

It includes:

Food
Lodging
Guide
Entrance Fees
Equipment
Pick up from Tribhuban International Airport
Sight seeing around Kathmandu Valley
40 minute flight to Lukla
About 5 hours of trekking a day for 9 days with acclimatization rest days in between
40 minute flight back to Kathmandu

It Excludes:

Travel Insurance (Mandatory for booking - crap, how much?)
Hotel and meals in Kathmandu (10USD hotel/night)
Nepal Visa 40USD
Miscellaneous costs
Departure tax from Airport 28USD (If I go to India after, I won’t need this)
Medical evacuation in case of emergency (hahahaha great!)

[Note: I have to remember that Nepal is the pivot point of my trip. India is the farthest west I want to go but Nepal has a bigger draw so I’d rather center my trip on it.

A flight to Nepal passes HK (and Macau is not far from there). I’m leaning towards starting with Macau the HK then Nepal then making my way back to Vietnam by road. That way, I can make an early booking to Nepal without tying myself down to an IT. And probably save a lot of money in the process.

On the other hand, this might be the zenith of my trip and everything else may pale in comparison.

Here’s another one!

15 Day 650USD Everest Base Camp

Similar itinerary http://www.addictedtotravel.com/holidays/everest-base-camp

Without food (Allow USD300) but with guesthouse and lodges

No insurance mentioned though

Sleeping bags, jackets and other equipment can be rented for 2USD a day. Good to know! That solves my bulk problem.

Local Nepali Tour Agency

Supposed to be much cheaper and easier to bargain in person.

http://www.nepalmakalu.com/everest_bc.htm is a local site but the rates aren’t listed. I emailed to inquire about them. Their IT is 19 days but it includes and extra day.

Getting to Nepal

http://www.travellerspoint.com/forum.cfm?thread=15354

3 ways

From Delhi:
Delhi to Gorkhpur by train. Gorkhpur to Sanauli/Bhairawa ( border town),just 2 hours by bus.

From Kolkata:
Kolkata to Raxaul by train. Raxaul to Birganj by cycle rickshaws or three wheelers.

From Darjeeling to Kakarbhita and cross over to Nepal.
This is the cheapest and though not easiest way to reach Nepal.

From all the border towns inside Nepal, get direct buses to Kathmandu and Pokhra.

Trains are supposed to be “dirt cheap”

Other Options:

156 USD gets me a birds eye view of Everest from Kathmandu with Buddah Air but… nah…
Still to find:

Travel insurance

Thoughts:

Alpine clothes are supposed to be cheap there. I read about someone buying a jacket, gloves, hat and sleeping bag for 50USD in 2004. That’s even cheaper than Baguio! Though, I won’t leave everything to chance. I’ll spend a couple of days in Kathmandu to canvass/tour around just the same.

There are options to either camp or stay at a lodge during the nights on the way to base camp. I’d imagine tents are cheaper but I also read that the lodges are a good way to immerse yourself in the culture. Plus, I wouldn’t want to be miserable in a tent for the whole trip.

I guess its Macau, HK, Nepal India then road trip to Vietnam and possibly Malaysia. Hey, I’m getting somewhere!

Theres so much to do in Nepal. I wonder where my time would be best spent.

This part of the trip will have to be timed well for good weather.

This trip would be a great excuse to buy that hand pump water filter I always wanted to buy. It could save me a lot of cash on bottled water. Not sure if it works for heavy metals and stuff though.

I read somewhere last time that you can buy a small chain and padlock to lock your pack to the train in India sometimes. Might be handy.

Since I’m considering booking my base camp trek when I get there, it makes it more difficult to get the timing right. Too close to peak season and its expensive, too far and I’ll be alone and going alone usually means its expensive too. Plus… I’ll be alone! September sounds good climate wise. October to May is off monsoon season.

Have to get used to the idea of computing everything in terms of dollars…

Flight from Manila to Hong Kong is 3000PHP Cebu Pacific

Next to plan is the Macau HK part

Good websites:

TravelPunk.com

http://www.travelpunk.com/boards/indian-sub-cont/13045-everest-base-camp-september.html

LonelyPlanet.com

Standing Facts so far:

Budget:

Manila to Macau 1,500PHP (32 USD)

Hong Kong to Kathmandu (5 hrs) 3,810.00 HKD (492 USD)

Destinations:

Maybe Macau
Hong Kong
Kathmandu
India

Estimated Lenght so far:

Just under a month

Planning Phase - Asia 002: How could I forget Hampi?

2009-02-12T23:17:00.000-08:00

First of all, I changed the name of my post from Planning Stage to Planning stage. Why? That’s just how I roll. I change everything on the fly.

*Dorky white boy dance*

Ok Hampi. How could I forget Hampi?! Hampi is this famous bouldering area in India. I saw it in a rock climbing video once with Chris Sharma, Nate Gold and Katie Brown. Looks a-friggn-mazing! I don’t know much else about it except that.

According to http://www.hampi.in and some other sources, I can get there by train in 2 days and 2 nights for 9USD in the lowest class (Second Class aka Cattle Class!!). Not bad if I have the time but I don’t know if I really want to spend that long on a train just to get to Hampi if I’m not in shape by that time (I’ll. Hampi is at the Southern end of India in Trivandum (while Nepal is North of India). It’s way out of my way. If I go that far, I’d want to drop by Bombay and Hyderabad at the very least. Maybe I can get Falk to show me around Sri Lanka.

Getting to Hampi

232INR (5USD) - Hyderbad to Hopset (to get to Hampi) – sleeping class train

198INR (4USD) - Goa to Hopset – sleeping class train

10INR (.20USD) – Hopset to Hampi – 30 minute bus

15INR (.30USD) – Shared Auto Rickshaw (taxi?)

Note: Touristy stuff can be planned before hand in Hopset.

In Hampi

30-40INR - Bike rental per day

Note: mopeds are more expensive (150INR) maybe I’ll splurge on the last day

5INR – Coracle ferry (Plus 10-15INR with a bike)

Hampi Ruins

Car Hire : About Rs 600 to Rs 800 per day (includes driver allowance).
Generally people hire car from Hospet and travel onward to the Hampi ruins. Remember car cannot take you to all the ruins site in Hampi. Be prepared for some considerable legwork, that is, if you are serious about ‘exploring’ Hampi.

Tonga (horse carriage) : About Rs 50 to Rs 100
That is for a typical short to medium exclusive trip from one monument to another (say from the Sacred Center to the Royal Centre or to the Vittala Temple). Tongas are slow but funny and environmentally friendly alternative to explore the ruins site.

Lodging

50-200 INR at the Hampi Bazaar
Can be anything from a hut to a rooftop with a family inside

Food
South Indian breakfast – Rs15
Breakfast (western type) – Rs60
South Indian meals – Rs25
Dinner with special dishes – Rs100 to Rs 200
Packaged drinking water – Rs15 per liter.

For entrance fees, guide fees and the like… http://www.hampi.in/cost.htm CLOSED ON FRIDAY

Note: Set aside around 1000 INR for whole day of touring?

Still to find:
Bouldering

More travel options to get there from different places.
Someone to boulder with?

Thoughts:

Maybe I should make a policy where I stay an extra day everywhere I go, just for a chance to do something unexpected. It really depends on my budget I guess.

Whew, planning is gonna be hard. I jumped from Nepal to Hampi without considering what’s in between. But I realize more and more that it will save me money too.

I’m getting too excited about Hampi. Maybe I should save it for another time. 2 days of travel one way. Unless I find stuff to do in between, I wouldn’t be able to justify it.

On the other hand… HAMPI!!!

Planing Stage - Asia

2009-02-12T09:13:00.000-08:00

I'm planning a trip around Asia. I'm not sure exactly how to go about it yet but all I know is that as soon as i get tired of my job (maybe in a year or two), I'm taking this trip around Asia.

I'm posting my planning efforts here and I'll post every so often to get productive comments from anyone about pretty much anything. You can suggest and comment about places to go, things to do, traveling tips, things to avoid, people to meet up with along the way, food to try, budget concerns, travel options etc.

I'm prone to massive digressions and poor spelling so bear with me.

Short background: I was supposed to do this after grad and my dad already agreed to it but then I got a job (and had my heart broken). But now I'm back on track. Originally, I thought, if I had it my way, I'd fly to Calcutta and do my best to make it to Vietnam by land. No itinerary, no companions. Of course, certain countries make it impossible not to plan because of the need for Visas. But looking on the bright side, planning also is something for me to look forward to everyday after work. And, I'm not stuck on the no companions idea anymore. You're free to join me on parts of my travels but on the whole, I'd rather not have to consult anyone in terms of plans and itineraries.

I have a Canadian passport so i think that means i have access to commonwealth countries without a visa and I will get my Philippine passport (soon I hope) so that means I'll have access to Southeast Asian countries.

Laslty, I don't have much money so this will be a budget trip. I'm paying for it myself. To keep it cheap, I don't plan on going to expensive countries like Singapore, Korea and Japan. I'll save that for another time.

Here's what I've come up with so far (Its not much but its just came to me before i had to go to work. I'm actually at work right now taking a short break.):

Nepal
How to get there:
Connecting flight through HK (That means I might as well go to HK! ...Holy crap, that's 50k already!)

Land trip through India.
I may turn my trip backwards and make my way from Vetnam to India then to Nepal and finally HK before coming home.

What to do:
Nature tripping. It's the home of Everest base camp (right?) but I'm not planning on buying alpine gear so I'll put that off for now. The mountains and landscape have got to be awesome.

India

Of course is inevitable. I guess I want to see the Taj Majal and the Ganges. I'm too inexperienced of a traveler not to be cliche about some things. In fact, travelling around the Philippines, I usually avoid tourist spots but maybe around Asia I'd want to meet more tourists.

that's all for now.

Standing budget: Way more than 50k

Suspension of Disbelief

2009-01-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Contextually, Juliet was referring to Romeo’s name, his family name specifically. But let’s forget about the context for now.

I once fell in love with “…a Capulet in the balcony of [my] mind” (Semisonic – Singing in My Sleep). And, whether it was just my perception (my mind) or the actual girl who changed (or both), something definitely changed. I feel awkwardly attached to something that just plain blatantly doesn’t exist.

I say “something” and not “someone” because, as of this writing, I still can’t say if it’s Juliet or the idea of Juliet or even just the predicament that I miss.

It’s a bit like the feeling I get after reading or watching a favorite novel or a feature film. For all intents and purposes, be it based on true life or true fantasy, novels are, by nature, fictive. They’re lies, great lies but lies. They’re made up. So, no matter how badly I want to joust with Sir Elrich, befriend Leslie Burke or pick Howard Roark’s brain, I never will. I remember curling up into a ball eating chocolate while reading the third Harry Potter book for the second time and tearing up for no apparent reason when I realized the true power of suspension of disbelief.

And, after all, that’s what I’m doing now. Suspending my disbelief. Who is Juliet now that we each stop talking when one walks in on the other’s conversation? Who is she now that we no longer update each other with one another’s lives and talk about our dreams? Hearing her name used to make my face blush and my heart swell. Now, I imagine, it makes my face fall and my heart – fill in the blank.

The Juliet I knew is fiction now. She might as well have been made up too. The way that I talk about her, the way that I still insist on projecting her image onto the brains in the heads of unwitting shoulders, the way that I still catch myself thinking about her every day is little more than fiction now.

For what is in a name? It works both ways. You can call a daisy a rose but at the end of the day, you’re only fooling yourself.

Despite the logic, here I am.

The Return of Another Comeback Again (Short Version)

2008-12-30T07:13:00.000-08:00

(Medyo sabog ang pagkasulat)

The other day, I asked Dennis when he started climbing. I had a follow up question in mind, “How do you keep going?” Unfortunately, I never got to ask my follow up question. That’s because Dennis said that he’s been climbing just as long as I have. He started in 1998 with me and Aldwin.

Dennis is one of the pillars of the Rock Climbing community in the Philippines having owned his own boulder gym and organized national bouldering events among other things. He’s climbed and competed all around the world and had his “Sharma Experience” early on. All this made me think that he’s been around for so long; that he must have experienced this almost mythical “Glory Day” period of Philippine climbing that I’ve always heard of.

When I told him about what my follow up question was supposed to be, Dennis had no answers for me.

There was a time when the question was inverse. “How could you stop!?” I would always scream inside whenever I saw that a climber had turned into a shadow of their former selves. In my 11 years of climbing, I saw this much more than I’d have liked to. I saw it happen to climbers I looked up to, girlfriends, best friends and champions alike. It especially hurt with my peers.

The name Tagoy Ledesma comes to mind first. Tagoy was my first real “rival” in climbing. His cousin Pipoy was a talented climber who could beat us seemingly without trying but I always felt that Tagoy and I both had more heart than the others. It’s not just that we outlasted our peers and stayed in the sport longer than they did but we were both underdogs by nature. We had a good four year run placing one right after the other in junior national competitions but one year, the Bacolod climber just didn’t show up. Later, I competed against him again in an open men’s competition in Bacolod but by that time, I felt almost like I’d lapped him. I finished second and he finished eighth for that leg.

Meanwhile, being an Atenean was taking its toll on me. I was struggling to pass high school. The year that I won the X-games, I had no close friends until after I’d actually won. It’s hard to make friends when you sleep between classes, during recess and lunch and you have training after school.

The next season (from summer to August or September of second year high school) happened to be the first year that I decided to move on to open competitions and let the junior competitions ride in the back seat. I did pretty well for my first year. I ended up 6th in the climbing circuit that year (just one place from being on the national team) but at a price. I’d failed Araling Panlipunan. Taking summer classes wasn’t just bad for my records, it took a toll on my training too. I was afraid to fail.

The next year was third year high school. It was the year that all the teachers said that colleges looked at. I was afraid to fail. Come end of climbing season in august, I got into the national team but after that, I made a decision to stop climbing. Around this time, I was also having trouble with my climber girlfriend. I wasn’t that enthusiastic to climb anymore anyway. I still failed math and had to take summer classes. Meanwhile, my brother and sister were both honor students. My parents sort of accepted me as the one who doesn’t try hard enough at school but they kept on my ass anyway.

In retrospect, this is the first time I gave up on climbing as my life’s calling. Trying to get into Ateneo for collage was like a wakeup call. It was time to stop living in my childish fantasies of climbing with Chris Sharma and Katie Brown and Yuji Hirayama and Francois LeGrand in a magical land where there was no such thing as paying the bills or building a career.

In retrospect, because I gave it up so easily (I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would), I realized that I’d never be as passionate about climbing as I once was.

Along the way, my parents built and closed down 2 climbing gyms, my sister had her own issues with climbing, Hugo called me a bum who just slept and ate (which was true), I made a comeback but I also had and lost another climber girlfriend, Hugo had a falling out with my parents, he told me that he had nothing left to teach me, that I’d surpassed him and stopped coaching me, climbing in the Philippines began to die and I got into Ateneo and I became a mountaineer.

My sister became this kick ass national climber who competed internationally. Once, after watching her on the x-games, my dad asked me, “When are you gonna climb again?” I know he didn’t mean it but I felt so betrayed. Giving up climbing was the hardest decision I ever had to make and the easiest at the same time. Climbing was my passion but passing school and getting into Ateneo, that was me trying to be responsible. That was me trying to make my parents proud. A four letter word screeched in my head so loud that I could have stopped trying then and there just to spite him. But I didn’t. And despite that, I never really came back to climbing.

When I was just starting out, I told Hugo that I wanted to be like Simon Sandoval in ten years. Three or four years later, he told me to aim higher because I’d already reach that goal. With all due respect, he was wrong. Hugo spoke too soon. I might have been on my way but life got in the way.

Here I am now. I’m turning 23 in May.

I should be at the peak of my career but instead I’m starting over for the Nth time. For the past five years or so, I’ve been in limbo. I’ve been stopping and starting every couple of months. I’d train to get good enough to do some problems that most people can’t and just when I gain confidence, I’d stop. On 6 months, off 4, on 2 months, off 5, on and off and off and on.

I’m turning 23 and I ask, “How do I keep going?”
I can hear a faint echo, “How can you not?!”

I’m honestly not sure how relevant that voice is anymore.
Is this really the return of another comeback again?

Not Much Time Has Passed but Too Much

2008-11-27T03:27:00.000-08:00

About a year ago, I met a beautiful kid. I met him at Samal, Bataan when I went to live with fisherfolk for a weekend as part of a school immersion project.

About a year ago, I met this kid. His eyes were wise and happy but there was also a sadness about him. When other kids scampered around and screamed for our attention, Marlon contented with walking along side of us. Sometimes, he contented with walking along side of me. And, I became contented as well.

If Samal were a classroom, Marlon definitely wasn’t the class clown. He wasn’t the most popular kid but he wasn’t a loser either. Maybe he wouldn’t be elected for class president but I like to see him as the one that teachers secretly loved. The one they knew to have character, workmanship and loyalty. But, Marlon stopped going to school. There was no point.

For those of you who know Marlon, I won’t go on with the second half of the story as it was told to us. Just remember that it’s been about a year.

About a year ago, Marlon was etched into my thoughts. I didn’t know how, I didn’t know when but I was going to save him.

I never did.

Though, lately and until now, I’ve been seeing him in every wanting face attached to a cupped hand, sleeping on every scrap of derelict cargo box in the middle of a busy sidewalk. The people pass him I hear him rap on my car window.

Not much time had passed but much too much of it. This isn’t a call to action. I’m not planning anything this time. I wish him well but I just can’t. I don’t know how.

It’s sad. Right now it’s sad.
I’ll get over it.
It’s sad.

Lost and Found - Lastnight

2008-10-31T16:04:00.000-07:00

Mental Pictures of Pulag Induction Climb batch 19

2008-10-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

We were in a hurry at Jaja’s because the bus arrived two hours late so I forgot my camera in Baguio. If I hadn’t, these are the things I would have wanted to take pictures of:

Ail falling asleep on my back on the jeep to DENR and Rico and I both kinda catching each other’s eyes thinking, what do we do?! Wait, did he see me looking at him? Awkward…

Sleeping on the DENR mono block chairs just like in high school.

Free coffee at the stop over (Jonjon? Denden? Something like that).

Ploppy top load.

Giant earthworm!

Shao’s porter: girl porter.

Rico “eating” giant earthworm.

Tito Mart’s brown balls (kulubot sa loob!)

Enzo’s nuts.

The first time I got to use my new Jacket!

Ail dressed like a watermelon.

Enzo who didn’t have a jacket. Tigas!

49 LM

Des.

The 10 17’s

Some pictures involving a certain godess and her followers that I would have taken that night but might not have posted… hmm… leave it at that…

Elle night trekking Pulag in friggn short spandex!!!

A sunrise worthy of Superman.

White rainbow.

The usual peak pics.

The second worst mountain meal I’ve ever had (sorry Marmar).

Oreo pancakes part two.

Trek, trek, trek, jeep, jeep, jeep…

Transies (for Derek)

Viscos with Ail and Tammy… oh yeah, the others were there too…

Surprise visit from Mike, Enzo and Isa.
(Shet, dami nga natin nun…)

Camped out at Victory.

Wasak...

This Morning

2008-10-16T02:45:00.000-07:00

This morning I left five minutes early. I know because I’m usually in a hurry. My lack of sleep made me overcompensate. So, I left the house five minutes early. I could have sat on the couch with my feet up and my eyes closed but I left five minutes early.

Walk, twenty Minutes.

Jeep, twenty Minutes.

At the Cubao MRT station, the line was the longest I’d ever seen it. Passengers in waiting inched forward towards a closed gate despite having nowhere to go. The gate, I reiterate, was closed. They etched an invisible snail-shell-shaped-line inch by futile inch into the solid ground.

Just like that, another twenty minutes of my life had come and gone. Gone. Up on the platform, was the ubiquitous fidgeting wall of commuters like sperm encroaching upon the egg (I’ve written about this before). I took my usual niche off to the side of a clump of people with one person in front of me so it doesn’t look like I cut in front of the clump.

A train came, no luck. Four minutes come and gone.

A large man had positioned himself behind me.

A train came, the large man pushed, the angry wall pushed back. I let the large man through. The large man got on the train. At least I was at the front of the clump now.

A train came rushing down the tracks, the wind slapping my face. My punishment for not heading useless cautionary signs (Do not step on the Yellow Line).

“Wala nang tutulak a! Palabasin muna natin sila.”

“Walang lumalabas!”

At the last second, a head an arm popped out of the egg followed by a head. The arm and head were attached to a thin man’s body. The other passengers in the train tried to fill the gap that he had left. Consequently, there was enough of a gap for me to slide my body into.

Success. Half an hour too late.

Arriving at Santolan-Anapolis Station… Ortigas Station… Edsa Central Station… Boni Avenue station… there has been a slight delay.

Slight = 7 minutes.

Come.

Gone.

Jeep, twenty Minutes.

Walk, less than one minute.

The biometric scanner tells me that I’ve used all thirty minutes of my grace period. No deductions but I’m going to have to make up for it tonight.

I’m making up for it.

I’m writing this.

50 Kilometers

2008-08-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This “story” has no plot.

They announced that the start finish tarp had been attached the wrong way so that, before the race started, we had to do a fake start in the wrong direction for the press. Maman Rach and I were too busy taking our own pictures to pay much attention.

They announced that there were 20 seconds left. I fiddled with my camera trying to find a way to keep it within reach without having it bounce while I ran. 10 seconds. I was still fiddling. Start! Without looking up, I followed Maman and Rach as they walked along the cement road going towards the trail. Dozens jogged past us, a few others walked with us.

Though it’s always nice to run with friends, something told me to go on ahead, I wanted to go it alone. So, I did.

“It’s flat!” I told Maman, “Lets go!”

I meant to tell him that we should jog while it was flat and walk when we got to the hills but I was too excited.

“Relax lang muna,” he replied in that no-worries tone of voice he often used with me. None-the-less, I didn’t want to relax. Yes, I wanted to be smart and conserve my energy for the 99.7 more kilometers ahead but I also wanted to have fun and get the feel for the race. So, I jogged. Though completely superficial this early on, passing people on the trail still made me feel good about myself. It was a combination of my competitive nature and being such amateur that I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was done.

I passed Simon.

I passed Miles.

I took some pictures along the way.

When familiar faces began to pass me when I’d stop to take a picture, I stopped taking pictures and stuffed my camera hastily in my bag’s pocket. At this point, every second was still precious. When even more people passed me, I thought, I’ll, at least, catch up. But, I’d eaten breakfast too late. My sides began to stitch. And so I did. The first Logistical Point (LP01) was about 8k in.

Simon, a bit tired looking, had caught up. He offered me some dried Mango as we drank water provided by LP01.

Simon Passed me.

I drank.

Miles Passed me.

I drank.

I hadn’t drank much of my own water, so there was no need to refill my bladder.

Back on the trail, I considered waiting for Maman and Rach to catch up but I knew I’d grow too impatient to wait. So, I jogged on.

More people caught up.

I jogged faster.

More people caught up.

I ran.

My left sole began to flip and flop with every step. I looked down.

Flip.

Flop.

Flip.

Flop.

I slowed to a stop. On the side of the road I opened my pack for the first time, hassled by the stop. At this point every second was still precious.

“Okay ka lang?” They asked as the passed me.

They passed me.

“Okay lang, salamat.”

They passed me.

I figured I’d tape my other shoe for preventive measures, so, they passed me some more.

And, I ran again.

Cramps. I didn’t want to stop. Every second was still precious. Instead of stopping, I tried to walk it off. I walked and walked and when the pain on my upper right calf subsided I jogged again.

Cramps.

Crap.

“Okay ka lang?”

“Cramps lang. Salamat.”

I stopped, I stretched then I walked.

I drank my Gatorade and I walked.

I drank my Gatorade and my but I’d eaten breakfast too late and I was still feeling it bounce around in my stomach.

I walked until I hit the road part of the course. It was flat.

atient. as a combi Slowly, I worked up to jog. Cars were whizzing by and it would have been smart of me to get off the pavement and work the dirt but dirt was harder to run on.

Cars continued to whiz by.

Until the end of the paved part, I’ll jog until the end of the paved part. At this point, every minute was still precious and every minute I spent jogging was two minutes I wouldn’t have to walk.

Until the end of the paved part.

I’m getting too tired. This is ridiculous. 80+ kilometers to go.

Shit.

Shit.

I walked again.

I drank my Gatorade and I walked again.

Finally, the paved part was done but after a less than a kilometer of trail, it was paved again. But, I was getting too tired anyway. I needed to conserve my energy.

“Lets go!” Cheered an old man from behind me.

The old man passed me.

I went.

I jogged.

I kept up with him.

I drank my Gatorade and I went.

Finally, I began to pass some of the ones who’d passed me before. Some had even stopped at a sari-sari store to grab a cold drink. Sparkle. They’re gonna regret that later. With that, I let the old man get away as I walked and drank more Gatorade. I had to stop and pee every two minutes.

Another man passed.

I followed him. I followed him until LP2.

LP02

16K

74K

9K to LP3.

This was where they brought my care package. I hadn’t even eaten any trail food yet so I didn’t even bother with it. It would serve me well the second time around. They had bananas. I had one but I’d eaten my breakfast too late. Still, I had another. I could have used another for the cramps but I’d eaten my breakfast much too late, only 10 minutes before the race. I didn’t want to be heavy. I didn’t refill my bladder.

Instead, I drank.

I’ll refill at the next stop.

The next stop didn’t have water.

I drank.

I’ll refill at the next stop.

The next stop didn’t have water.

I drank.

Somewhere along the way, the tape came off of my right shoe. It was the preventive tape so I was fine.

I’ll refill at the next stop.

Cramps.

This time, it was on the quad of the same leg. The Gatorade wasn’t cutting it so I ate the first of three Cloud 9’s. I looked around and I was alone. As I walked and walked farther, following the red and white North Face flags and stickers, I tried to take in each turn, hoping to remember them for the second lap when it would be dark. And, I was alone, so there wasn’t much else to think about except…

Cramps on the other leg.

I walked and walked it off and I finished my Gatorade.

Multiple cramping areas, I walked off.

Finally, just as I began to see people again, the river crossing.

Simon was already on the other side with his friend drying off their feet. It seemed that no one wanted to run in wet shoes so I took mine off as well. I sighed at the refreshing temperature of the water as it penetrated my skin to my upper right calf. But, maneuvering over lose rocks in murky water was a challenge to my cramping legs. I barely made it to the other side.

Miles was there too. Because I knew that they’d be faster than me, I didn’t take the time to rest and wipe but left right away.

“Sarap ng Bengay.” Miles said.

“Ang init, sarap.”

Cramps, I remembered.

So I asked for some and smeared it on before I left. As I waited for the init, I thought I hadn’t put enough until my balls began to burn. The vapory heat had crawled up my legs. It burned. It burned, but my legs were good as new. Thank God for Miles.

But It wouldn’t last, so I walked again.

And, Simon and his friend ran passed.

And, Miles and his friends ran passed and I followed. I followed behind their slowest guy. I followed until I couldn’t follow anymore and my legs began to cramp up in places they’d never cramped before. So, I walked again.

The tape came off of my other shoe, the broken one. I taped it up again. If I had to tape it every 3 kilometers, there was no way my shoes would last 80 more. When the tape came off again, I decided to leave it.

Finally, there was an aid station. I filled my bladder with. I didn’t need to fill it up. I shouldn’t have but I did.

“May duct tape kayo?”

“Wala, sorry.”

Damn.

As I negotiated the sticky mud that seemed to be sucking the soles off my shoes with every step, I found myself talking out loud to them.

“If I can last 70+ more kilometers, you can last 70+ more kilometers.”

Later, I felt too inhibited to do it at the aid station so I walked passed that and passed another martial point through the mud until I was out of sight before I took out an Enervon multivitamin which I drank and a hydrite tablet for my water.

I drank and I drank and I peed and I peed until my piss was on the fringe of apple-green but my cramps never went away completely.

I walked until the worst was over, I jogged until it came back.

I walked, I jogged, I walked again but mostly I walked from then on.

Recovery mode.

Two girls that I’d noticed at the river crossing came up behind me, keeping pace with me as we walked.

At the next river crossing, my socks were still moist from the first. They took their time, I didn’t. Not long after, there was a third crossing where I did the same while they wiped their feet dry. Still, the two girls caught up while I was negotiating a particularly muddy patch of trail. They’d gone off trail to a parallel higher level to avoid the mud.

“Dyan ka talaga dumaan! Hehe.”

They, too, passed me as I was left to feel the wet and sticky mud that seemed to be sucking the soles off my shoes with every step.

I don’t remember the facts and figures but I remember computing them in my head in anticipation of the 14 hour cut off for the first fifty kilometer loop.

Another old man passed me and he was only walking.

I walked faster.

I walked faster and almost constantly had him in sight though the forest, on to the road until we hit a martial station and, as he stopped to ask for directions, I caught up. Back in the forest, he stopped, looked back at me and said, “San kaya?” The trail seemed to be corded off with nowhere to go. He hadn’t noticed that the trail went down.

“Dun o!”

I passed him and wondered if I’d taken his position somewhat unethically or tactlessly. I was too tired to look back, so I didn’t. Along the way, walking briskly, we passed others. The trail was heading uphill where I could comfortably keep my pace while others, probably not used to walking on trails, faltered.

I wanted to conserve my hydrite tablets so when I’d finished one, I stuck with water. I remembered my trail food. My mom had bought me random things at the supermarket based on vague descriptions of what trail food was.

Sunmaid Mixed Dried Fruits.

Sunmaid Mixed Dried Fruits!

The moment they hit my lips, I can’t describe the love I felt for my mom. It was heaven.

Sunmaid Mixed Dried Fruits and mom’s love got me through to the third logistical point with much of the same nuisances as before: broken shoes, wet socks and F’d up legs.

There was another river crossing along the way. Sitting on a rock to take my shoes off, I used the opportunity to cut the loose bits of sole off the bottom of my poor shoes.

“Retirement climb,” I told the marshal.

At about twelve o’clock, I planned to have lunch at LP04 and even take a nap. I estimated it would take an hour or so to get there. If I was in for lunch and a nap, I might as well jog and use up what energy I had left before the rest. Shoes no longer flip-floppy, I found a good stride in there. But, I estimated wrong. It took me closer to two hours. I don’t remember specifically but I probably got leg cramps again at this point. Luckily, I’d reached LP04 right before the heavy rains hit. Just as luckily, I’d caught up to Simon who happened to have a pair of. If the monoblock chair and Simon’s dry and soled shoes paired with my dry spare socks wasn’t heaven enough, after taking a few last pictures of my shoes that I’d probably never see again, I finally had lunch. “Zesto-packed” corned beef and bread. But as the people came in for shelter from the rain, I was lost for a place to rest my head for the nap I’d been anticipating. I settled to enjoy every moment of my sandwich before trudging on again. It was only drizzling by then. I felt that God was on my side.

Along the trail, I heard the rain strengthening from behind and retreated under a tree. A family of locals caught my eye and invited me into their home for better cover. They even had not-so-warm coffee. Coffee dehydrates but I had the whole mug anyway. They asked where I was from and asked about the race. I asked if the rain would stop any time soon. They said it should be gone in a while. My skepticism prepared me mentally for the worst while I prepared physically by switching back to my old socks and taking out my rain coat. By the time that they’d told me about the other runner who’d gotten hungry and had a quick merienda with them, the rain had gone.

And, I was off.

I walked and walked and jogged but mostly walked. I’d also picked up a stick along the way to help me walk.

It broke.

I picked up another.

Then, on my way down from a small paved path running down a hill, I saw it: Assault.

Every minute wasn’t so precious anymore so I waited at least fifteen at the saddle between the two hills before attempting to scale it.

Assault.

“It’s not so bad.”

And it wasn’t. My mind had played a trick on me. The hill was no bigger or steeper than the one I’d just scaled.

So, I walked on until I finally caught up to my friend who I’d cut off before. At one of the stations, I’d learned his name and the names of the other familiar faces when the marshals asked for them. I’ve forgotten them already as I’m sure this group of guys who I’d walked side by side with for about 35 kilometers have forgotten my name as well. Again, there was much of the same. Walking, cramping up, resting, jogging and walking. This time though, I had my stick for company and some familiar faces for a semblance of familiarity in the depths of forests and small towns.

As we walked, the children would call out numbers, our numbers. I was: Zero-Six-Four. They’d also call out other numbers, two digit numbers. These were our estimated places: 32, 35, 41 and eventually as the day went on, 53, 55 and so on. But all we could do was walk a little, jog a little and walk a little more.

Night fell. Headlamp on, I saw Crow coming around for his second loop.

“Malapit-lapit na yan,” he volunteered without my asking.

About 5 Kilometers later I hated him for saying that.

Malapit-lapit my A*%

For a while now I’d been leading the pack, until I’d eventually left them. But it was all for naught when the trail seemed to split to two and there was not a trail marker in sight. I took the left which lead me to a dead end. When I looked back, I saw headlamp lights bouncing towards what would have been right.

Shit.

But all I could really do was walk.

So we walked.

So I walked.

And as dragging as this is to read at this point, it was a thousand times more dragging for us to walk.

We hit the road that we’d jogged in the beginning and expected the finish line to be beyond the bend and we continued to walk until I had thoughts of quitting again. I fell behind. I fell behind and was left alone. A motorcycle pulled up beside me to offer a ride. I thanked the driver but declined. I would walk.

For the rest of the evening, we walked and we walked and I walked.

50 kilometers I walked.

I need...

2008-05-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

I need Richard Dacalos to invite me to one of his impromptu sleepovers where all we eat is microwavable chimichangas or take out pizza and all we do is call Krystal Lao, Kristine Chan, Carlos Frogoso, Felix Ganchoki, Judy Antonio, Kathy Taylor or Tess Rivera until their parents come along and make them hang up. I need Gene Bautista to drag me around Metro Manila chasing another one of his girls on a school night hoping that maybe somewhere along the way, I can find someone for me too. I need Carlos Frogoso to call and tell me that he’ll be at the mall and so-and-so are already on the way. I need to dream of going out to buy ice cream with Tess Rivera and then actually go out and do it the next day. I need Krystal Lao not to realize, when she brings me to the roof of her condo building that that look she’s giving me in that dress she’s wearing will stay etched in my mind forever. I need Kristine Chan to talk to me until three or four in the morning on a school night, only hanging up because one of us is nodding off. I need to sing One Sweet Day or Mmm.. Bop at the top of my lungs in the hallways of OB Montessori Greenhils with Ken Sy without knowing half of the meaning of the song and without a care in the world for anything else. I need Felix Ganchoki to know exactly how I feel about Kathy Taylor and we’d sit there both stuck, not knowing what to do about it. I need relationship advice from Judy Antonio and Tess Rivera that will make me fall in love with them. I need Lady Angsico to break my heart over and over for three years until I’ve finally had enough. I need Hugo Rafael to be my coach on life again, to tell me that I’m a trend setter, to force me to dream big and to be the older brother that my older brother never wanted to be until it seemed too late. I need Kevin Yu to ask me how I can climb like that without any training. I need Lawrence Mistades to bring back stupid old stories about how much of a loner I am in the gym. I need Suzane Davies to shout at someone! I need Krissie Coseteng so that Ria Valera and I can share her belly as a pillow for a nap on the crashpads before climbing. I need Ria Valera so I can watch DVD’s at her house while her brothers Igo and Vito Valera try to get in close with our group of friends. I need Det Uy to make me sing the only lyrics I know of Total Eclipse of the Heart (“Turn around!”) while she fills in the rest of the lyrics. I need Gax Ilanan to shout my name as I walk in through the door of Power Up as if they hadn’t seen me in years. I need Cams Venturina to make me buy pasolubong for my mom and sister even if I don’t have any money left. I need Coy Woothritch to booth jokingly and awkwardly call me "boyfriend" when her real boyfrend had mutual understandings (MU's) with both Lady Angsico and Krissie Coseteng, each before they became my girlfriend. I need Maman Salada to jokingly call me "hon" as in "honey" because he missed his girlfriend on the three week trip from Boracay to Iloilo to Cagayan de Oro to Davao that was only supposed to be a weekend in Boracay. I need to have a crush on Trisha Yaokasin again and have those two days back so I could say what I was really thinking, so I could fight for her. I need Cat Ocariz to invite me to her house but not tell me exactly how to get there so that I’m asking for directions on winding empty streets towards the innermost bowels of her subdivision so that I feel like I’d left Metro Manila half an hour ago. I need Mansy Abesamis to wear her heart on her sleeve when she gets tipsy or drunk. I need Owen Sanico to nod at me and continue the conversation when I think that no one understands what I’m trying to say. I need Carmela Causgbu to stutter in English, stop and try again in tagalog. I need EJ Gamboa to kidnap me while I’m studying and drive a bunch of us up to Antipolo for some drinks. I need Royce Cardenas to trail run right along side of me when the guides make a run for it while the others get left behind. I need to bivwack with Pappy Tagabay on Mt. Kanlaon of all places. I need Rap Santos to wait outside in the rain in God knows what Pulag temperature because Mads Constantino and Tammy Mendoza are inside the tent changing for an hour. I need Jacky Chua to take over my TL duties on the way to La Union because I’m too hung over to do it myself. I need Mike Lu to get excited over something so seemingly trivial like a font, an insect or a certain shade of yellow. I need Des Llanos-Dee to trip me for no reason on EDSA walk like we’re in grade school or something again. I need Brian Balagot to be so obsessed about guitar, b-boying or weight loss that its freaking inspiring. I need Geric Anonas to be so brutally honest that it’s funny. Or Ace Ramos to give me a very gay tickle from behind and laugh in my face about it. I need Nikkos Santiago to play old school (not Rayan Cabrera) music from his phone while we drink until someone passes out. I need to meet Nikkos Santiago, Cholo de Villa unexpectedly in Boracay when I’d been preparing to be alone on that free trip. I need Earvin Martinez to know the Katipunan street kids and talk to them like equals. I need to sleep on the floor in Herbie Natividad's new and literally empty condo unit where all we have to eat is various flavors of intant noodles all mixed into one giant bowl and all we have to do is drink, listen to music and talk. I need King Echiverri to kiss Gene Bautista on the lips to make girls squirm and guys feign throwing up. I need [Name removed to protect the person's character] to hide his gayness from me while trying to squeeze gossip out of me. I need Martin Villanueva to tell me something I never knew about a writer I’d always thought so distant from myself. I need Martin Villanueva and Lee-Anne Tobias to get me to get lost driving them to Ginny Sonico’s house only to find out that she doesn’t have a doorbell and our phones didn’t work and the maids weren’t answering the door because they thought that we were some kind of delinquents with nowhere else to hang out. I need Cindy Custodio to talk about Tata right in front of Cor and how she hugged us at grad. I need Jerome Chua to tell me that burgers come in cans in Germany and to laugh at and judge famous terror teachers as if they were contestants on America’s Got Talent. I need Paula Peralta to tipsily break her heel and ask me to break the other one so that she can walk properly and on the same night, I need Lee-Anne Tobias to have a crush on a college freshmen who actually turns out to be a high school senior. I need Ria Macasaet to openly cry because she bumped her head on the roof handle of my car. I need Blockdo to play that game that time that we said we'd never tell and leave me with half an hour of sleep the night before I had to run 10k at the King of the Road on the heels of Pappy Tagabay. I need Rico Diaz to be the perfect boyfriend to Ail Ty and I need Ail Ty and Tammy Mendoza to suck all of my secrets from me until the weight of the world is suddenly divided by three. I need Bianca Silva to be my baby and to really act like a baby with all their need for hugs and attention and doting. I need Geline Velayo to shout out loud how fast she saw me run by during the Orienteering test after Mt. Cristobal. I need Nana Enerio to take care of me like how she always takes care of everyone else. I need Julian Suarez to attempt to sing an entire alphabet worth of Karaoke songs in one sitting. I need Raf Reyes to ask me another follow up question. I need Julian Suarez, Nana Enerio and Raf Reyes to be game for anything. I need Kaye, Jako, EJ and Charize Robles to sing our grandma a Harana and sleep over at Kayes, eating junk food, watching foreign asian films and making deep, deep confessions for no reason.

I need these moments in life that make me feel like I’m alive and these people who make them possible. I kinda need them now.

My Brother Left for Canada

2007-10-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

My brother left for Canada today. He really left. He said he would do it and then he did. I feel like the whole thing was decided overnight. I’ve been in Baguio and Novaliches for the past two weeks and I wasn’t really around for any of it except for today: the last day. The fact that I even went on those trips might hint to you that he and I weren’t at all close. I love him as much as one could love a brother who he doesn’t drink with, he doesn’t go to for help or even talk to outside of calling through the bathroom door asking, “are you done yet?” I originally wrote “loved” in that last sentence and went back and erased the “ed” I guess that’s telling as well. He’s gone. Last night he was driving me home from dinner with our grandparents (my parents had brought a separate car because they’d planned to go to Heckle and Jeckle again). It turned out we had a lot more in common than I thought. He wanted to stay in the Philippines but his major concern was financial, he wanted to live in different places all over the world and other more personal things as well. Today, I wasn’t even sure I was going to the airport to say goodbye to him (I hadn’t really gotten a decent night’s sleep since Tuesday) but I’m glad I did. Despite the insightful evening and all 30 or so minutes of what was quite possibly the longest conversation I’ve had with him since we were boys, I still caught myself exasperated at some of the things that went on in the car ride to NAIA. He hadn’t distributed his cash into different places which was traveling 101 for me, when I told him that liquids weren’t allowed in his hand carry, I would have expected him to move his facial products into his suitcase even if my mom said that the limit was 100ml but she wasn’t sure if it was in total or per container, but he didn’t, little thing like that that made it hard for us to share much more than a bathroom. Some part of me was even annoyed that I couldn’t talk about the writing workshop that I had just come back from and was still excited about because I didn’t want to make everything about me. And so, we unloaded his luggage, he hugged my dad and then my mom and kind of awkwardly put his arm around my shoulder. He let go and looked at us and his face became pink, and scrunched up. His shoulders began to jerk and not so suddenly, we were brothers and we cried. My parents were surprisingly calm. My dad told him to think of it as a vacation, if he didn’t like it, he could always come back. On the ride home, I was quiet.

Unsent e-mail

2007-10-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

Don’t laugh

I finally got around to reading Harry Potter (don’t worry, no spoilers) and I feel like I’ve lost a dozen friends. It’s not because of what happens in the plot or anything but just because it’s the last time that Harry and his friends will ever be written about (Although part of me wishes that JK Rowling will do some kind of prequel about James, Lily and Snape). The seventh book was my last party with them, my last three day/one year journey and I feel like it came and went. Having lost all those fictional friends, I thought I’d write to my friends in the flesh.

It’s just that, its not only sad in itself but - and I’m not sure how much sense this will make but – its sad that its not so sad anymore. And that goes for all of life. Its sad that its not so sad that we’ll never go through LM induction again. Its sad that its not so sad anymore that we five never get to see each other anymore. Its sad that its not so sad that Tammy, Nana and I are graduating and will soon be leaving behind the biggest chunk of what we have come to understand as our lives as we know them.

I used to get really obsessed with these things as a kid. Final Fantasy 8, A Knight’s Tale, Harry Potter, I’d really let myself go, let myself believe and to be taken into these impossible worlds in words or on screen, embarrassed of the indirect relationship between my age and my level at which I’d been smitten. I took suspension of disbelief to a different level. I’m sure I’m not the first one but I wanted to go to Hogwarts, I wanted to joust on horses and win a princess and, I wanted to fight monsters with my gang of friends. It’s sad that its not that sad anymore that I can’t see myself doing those things ever again. Maybe I’m having an early quarter-life crisis but I used to believe that the word “Idealistic” was a complement. Now its fast becoming a synonym for “Naïve”.

I guess it’s really the same thing I was saying before about relationships. I was afraid that I’d been damaged or numbed. I think it’s the thought of having lost potency. The thought of being less than what I was, weaker, deficient and somewhat calloused.

I - thank - you. Hahaha.

dru

Know thy Characters or Become a Body Builder

2007-09-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Damn, it’s been a while. Two months! I’m not going to get into the reason why. It’s time to just get right back on the horse.

In Abola’s class, all my works were character driven. I’d know the character I wanted to write and I simply wrote about that character, found out where he’d bring me and what he’d do. He’d take on a life of his own and I was simply the stenographer of my own creation, a writer of biographical (although fictional) slices of life. The problem was that I didn’t care which details were really merited and which should be left implied.

In Suchen’s class, I’ve tended to start with big ideas and work from there. A man finds himself in a cloud of grasshoppers with little kids picking off the oblivious creatures one by one. How does he get there? A woman masseuse finds herself smitten by her client’s daughter. How do I show the novelty in the event? When exactly does the attraction come about? How do I contrast this to her usual mechanical sessions with other clients? Suchen described it as “adding salt here and adding pepper there,” and to build off of her analogy, without first knowing whether I’m cooking chicken or beef, noodles or soup. I don’t know my characters.

Granted, I’ve stopped writing “Starbucks Fiction” about shallow college kids with their idealism and their principles that they’d die for and their insistence that somehow their opinions would matter to a reader (not much unlike this blog), but in doing so, I find myself writing about characters that I know nothing about; those whose worldviews are unfathomable to me making it impossible to suspend the reader’s disbelief within the context of realistic fiction as opposed to tale telling like in A Sand Story.

I’ve lost the intimacy I’d once had with my characters. A guest speaker at one of my workshops (I don’t remember who, sorry ma’am) said that my story had the backbone of an award winning piece and that it was the language that needed improving. Like a dolt, I wrote my next piece with high school cry of “more description, more figures of speech, more details, show don’t tell!” I only now realize what she really meant by language. The language itself, the diction, the grammar and the syntax does not have to be impressive (and sometimes even gets annoying when it’s overdone). Rather, the language (and not necessarily the speech) has to suit the character.

The same teacher told me that language is a wonderful problem to have. I think she meant that an out of shape, yet experienced, ballerina is always a ballerina. She can always work out, strengthen her muscles, and regain her flexibility but a female body builder, no mater how strong, flexible or agile, would need much more work to become a ballerina. That’s what I think.

2007-07-23T07:33:00.000-07:00

At this point I don't really care if this is well written, I just want to get it out. I just want closure.

Tuesday two weeks ago, Fr. David, my theology professor, assigned 500+ pages of reading for the next day. I had already been cramming all of my studies to make room for The Republic so I'd forgotten to write an essay assigned for another class that day. When I went home to work on the essay during my hour and a half class because I'd left the questions at home, I discovered that MS Word was bugging out. This happened once before and after deleting some big files, it worked again, so that's what I did. When that didn't work, I turned the laptop off and when I tried to turn it on again, it just didn't do anything at all. I ended up writing my essay on lined paper and not submitting my design homework that was saved on the laptop.

The next night, my mom totally surprised me when she said I might be able to get the mac I was supposed to get the year before. Soon after, I was brought down to earth when I saw her again and she said it would be better to get a cheap laptop and wait until I'm working to get a better one. That was our game plan. I would have to wait another three years at least for my mac.

On Sunday, coming from my grandma's house, we stopped by gateway to canvass on laptops. To my surprise and delight, my dad was ready to buy a laptop that they had for sale only they didn't have stock. My brother, being my brother, hit me while I was down in asking my dad if I really even needed a laptop. Of course I didn't, of course I don't. I don't really need anything but oxygen if you really think about it. But having a laptop did make my life a hell of a lot easier especially since MS office on the Desktop was a trial version that had expired months ago and there I was required to submit a type written essay without a proper word processor.

The next Monday while I was minding my own business trying to catch up for David's class my mom says, "Lets buy it!" I wanted to study but my dad had called and told my mom to get it as soon as possible so that I could use it for school. Long story short, we called half a dozen shops and finally at 5pm we decided on a good deal at PCcorner on Gilmore ave. We weren't sure if we would make it before closing at 730 but I didn't want to have wasted all that study time and have nothing to show for it, so we went. And as luck would have it, there was absolutely no traffic on the way. It felt meant to be. We bought an even better laptop than the one we wanted and I went home more than satisfied.

On the same night, as I was closing the gate after my brother had parked his car in the garage, I told him the good news. He told me the bad news. He gotten, that day, a discount for a P83K laptop, he would only have to pay P45K for it. My heart sank in my chest. We told my dad, we pointed fingers and I thought that was that. Sure I would like to have had a better laptop but with how fast I got it and the fact that I got one better than the one I had set my lowered expectations on made me feel satisfied at getting a good deal.

Yesterday, coming home from Mt. Sembrano, my sister asked me if the laptop had a webcam. Then and there I realized that the flier said it did but I hadn't actually seen the webcam. I thought this might be grounds for returning the laptop so that I could get the more expensive one or at the very least I would get a free webcam so I told my parents about it and I went to the store today with my mom. I went in alone because she couldn't find parking.

Right off the bat, they offered me an external webcam. I also noticed that the old fliers had been replaced. My motivations being secretly beyond the issue of webcam, I asked if I could just return it. What they offered instead was an inferior model with a built in webcam plus P2000 credit a their store. I didn't bite. I SMS'd both my dad and my brother for advice and (after calling her cellphone) I discovered that my mom had parked too far away for her to join me at the shop and to help me argue my point. Basically my dad told me to ask my brother and my brother told me to take the free laptop. I made my last feeble attempt at a refund before calling my mom to come pick me up. While waiting for her outside, my dad SMS'd me telling me not to give in but just then, my mom arrived honking at me to get in the car already because of the traffic she was causing. From the car, I called my dad to tell him what happened and I told him that the 7day replacement policy would expire after today and that he should get there before 730pm if he wanted to try to argue himself. He said that he wouldn't be able to make it. Again, I left thinking that everything was finally over and that that was that.

Again I was wrong. My dad was pissed. He told me that I shouldn't have given in. He told me that the webcam wasn't enough and he told me that he would go back himself tomorrow and try himself. When he asked me for the flier that with the claimed webcam, I told him that I didn't have it, that I'd left it behind. He stormed out.

Later that night (this night), he told me it was like buying an Altis and being given a Vios. He was still bothered by it. He still planned to go to PCcorner the next day an to get everything straightened out. I told him that it might be better to get it replaced with the P83K laptop that my brother had a discount on and then have the discount reimbursed. With his regular employee discount, that's how it worked. But this was a special discount, my dad told me that, for this discount, we would have to pay by cash or by check. I did not know this. Had I known this, I wouldn't have been disappointed all week about a false prospect. I wouldn't have been stressing at all because I really don't care about the webcam that I'm never going to use anyway. I could have been happy from the beginning.

The thing I got from my father was that it was the principle of the matter.

If we're talking principles, is it better to fight an uphill battle for something that you don't really need, just to prove a point even if you already got a free webcam out of it? Is it really better to stress yourself out and to stress out everyone around you and to hassle the salespeople who are just doing their jobs just because you feel like you've been cheated out of something you never really had? If the original issue was to get me a laptop as fast as possible so that I could use it for school, where are your principles in delaying the whole thing just to appease your ego?

Try This!

2007-07-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

Why I Write

2007-07-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

After having gone through some essays of famous writers about why they write, I would like to say that it is my passion to write. I would like to say that writing is in the very core of who or what I am, animating my body and that writing is as much a necessity in my life as the food in my stomach or the roof over my head. I would like to say that I cannot stand not to write or that my writing serves some abstract higher purpose, far beyond the gratification of my own ego; that I’m on some kind of quest into the frontlines of the human mystery. I would like to. But as they say, I would like to but I cannot.

I can say that I have a strong affinity to writing but I also hate writing every now and then. I think all writers do sometimes. We write to our master pieces in the security of our bedrooms under the disguise of “just a little something I’m working on” and we pour ourselves into them until they begin to reject us and they we hand them over to our friends to critic and we say about our master piece “Please read, it’s nothing much.”

I can say that every time I spot a new irony or discover an idiosyncrasy or even when I realize see something infinitely familiar in a completely different light, my first instinct is to mull over it in written words. But even these words sometimes have a tendency to mutate for the worse when the prospect comes along of having an audience. For some reason, the snot from my nose becomes the perfect color of avocado or the gum under my desk at school is fondled by a virgin lover.

I can say try to be profound and say that why I write is exactly to discover why I write. And then I can turn around and write a piece of short fiction with no other compulsion than that which comes from requirement as an assignment in FA 111.4 Writing Workshop 4: Fiction under the Fine Arts Department in the Ateneo de Manila University.

I can say that stuff, I can probably think of more stuff to say or I can just write!

2007-06-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

Justin wakes up with a dry mouth. He’d been snoring all night again from exhaustion. Closing it, he feels like his mouth was filled with cotton from the dentist. A film of oil had materialized overnight on his face. He feels his stomach. Empty. Without even moving them, he knows that his arms are weak now. His legs are weak now. His body feels light. With as little movement as possible, Justin reaches for the electric fan at the foot of his bed and turns the knob to zero. Without even realizing it, this is one of Justin’s favorite feelings in the world. He feels like a sponge that had been sitting, forgotten, at the bottom of a dank kitchen sink and had only now been washed up and wrung out. All the grease, soap, tiny scraps of food and sauces that had dried up on their diner’s plates and diluted into water, all that filth that had been in him was wrung out from him. Empty. His clothes from the night before almost felt like a second skin; the sweat and oil had fused t-shirt to upper back, shorts to hips and underwear to balls. He yawns. He breathes out. The final drop of filth exercised from his body. The air is taken from his lungs. He feels good and he knows it. He feels so good that he falls asleep again.

An alarm goes off. Empty. The alarm comes from his sister’s room. As soon as the awareness of his head on his pillow sets in, Justin feels the weight of guilt piling upon his chest. So much so that it makes his lungs quiver with his first conscious breath of air as if he were eight and had the night spent in another self-important tantrum.

Justin feels tired. His eyes open, gaze directed to the scotch tape-scars on his bedroom wall from photographs long since removed. Below them, his cluttered desk sits under an even blanket of dust which protects it from use. On the other side of his room is a bookshelf decorated with half worn spines. Mandatory college and high school readings serve as fillers to his lack. Justin holds his breath and braces himself to get up out of bed. Ten seconds pass, fifteen, twenty-five, now fifty-three. Justin allows his lungs to deflate but he’s still in bed.

Potential daw

2007-06-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

Let it be said ngayon pa lang (now before anything) that the ideas that follow are not solely my own but they are my interpretation of the general sentiments of persisting in the minds of myself and my peers, mainly the core group of Martin Villanueva, Khaye Apay, Cindy Custodio.

Agian, I don’t claim to fully represent the ideas and views of that have been expressed in my little group of amateur writers but what I intend to reiterate is more of the general sentiment among us. That is that we are afraid. Pride aside, we have been stunned by the progress of our own skills in relation to the outside world of creative writers. We have among usa a winner of the Carlos Palanca award, fellows of the National Writers workshop in dumaguete and a handfull of hopefull others. The truth is that we are afraid of many things. The most obvious and underlying problem and the most discussed among us is the very practical problem of mere economics. We don’t know how to make our bread and butter as writers. We don’t know if it’s even possible for people other than Dalisay and Yuson. We have each taken different and extreme approaches to respond to this problem but the problem remains, and I’m sure it’s not only limited to Atenean students of the Creative Writing program. Survival is the word. Some choose to revel in the demand of the immoral writing college papers in exchange for dollars, others seek new vocations in full knowledge that their writing will suffer, their first passion will suffer. One in particular (not I) turns toward the raging tsunami and says “fuck it! Everything else will follow.” But none the less, we are all afraid. We are of our own progress because of the abruptness of it all. Truth be told, as a creative writing sophomore taking my introductory class in creative writing, my mentality was an to wrap myself in a protective shell of disinterestedness. The plan was simply to ignore all comments sacrificing productive criticism for my tiny ego. I had somehow convinced myself that I was a mere novice ergo; my works were amateurish. I had prepared myself not to care how much my teachers hated my work because I was determined to be a writer. The only thing that could have eradicated my barrier of hard headedness was exactly what came next: praise.

As a student of creative writing in a university at the age of eighteen, you think that everything you have written is only relevant in context. I wrote this for a school project. I wrote that but really the main character was me. I wrote, I write, no one reads.

Considering that, I thought it would take me years in order to produce a piece that anyone could stand to read much less praise and consider again that these complements were coming from well renowned Filipino writers. My guard fell. I became vulnerable. Like Cebu Pacific whose vision it was to be the aircraft of choice for the Filipino traveler, I had achieved my goal and was faltering at the confusion of “what now?” The world was ready for the taking. If not now then when, if not I then whom? More importantly: at this point, who needs determination anymore? I’d been acknowledged, not as a student writer but as a writer. “Eighteen years old and he can write like this, wait till he really learns to write.” Wait till he masters the art of metaphor, the scrutiny involved in fleshing out a character, the objectivism of the narrator to plot. Now I am afraid, no longer that none would appreciate my works (in fact I don’t give a shit whether anyone ever reads my past “good” works again) in comparison to the prospect that no one will ever read my future works, in contrast to the idea that good potential turns into a flat tire. I am afraid of being stagnant in my potential. I am afraid of being called lucky. I am afraid of being a called a fluke. I am afraid that I am on the tarmac ready for takeoff when the engine overheats and busts into flames prematurely. I am afraid of my past work: the creature that has grown beyond me. I am afraid of my former self. I love, too much, the sanctity of potential and the shell that is anonymity.

continued

2007-06-17T05:27:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in mass today and I got to thinking about something somewhat related to my last entry. I stopped writing that entry because I just didn’t know what to say. I had no conclusions and I didn’t want to make excuses for myself anymore. Now, I think I got it and simultaneously, I’m beginning to see one of the more practical uses of having a journal or web log.

I thought: my goals were different last year. My dad and I are alike in one defining way. The way that I tend to sacrifice the things that I have going for me for whatever I feel like pursuing at the time, my dad has a tendency to commit to things that he considers better alternatives to what he really wants. If my dad wants liempo for dinner, he’ll convince himself that pork chops are healthier because they have less fat. When he’s eating the pork chops, he’ll remember that he likes the fat and he’ll spend the rest of the evening complaining about how liempo tastes better than pork chops. Usually, we’ll end up getting with pork chops for dinner within the same week. Now take that little quirk and multiply it by a gagillion. We’re not just talking about dinner anymore. We’re talking about hundred-thousand peso televisions, we’re talking about buying cars, designing our house and recently, whether or not it was a good idea to move here from Canada and whether or not we should go home, now, more than ten years later. But this isn’t a “bash my dad” entry. Reading what I just wrote, you might not get why I think my dad and I are so alike but actually you have to see the difference before you can appreciate the likeness. The way that we make all of our decisions from the trivial to the life changing may be different but the results are the same. We always end up regretting them. We both have a quirk, we both know about our own quirk and we both persist or rather give in to what we each think is the best way to make decisions. We know it, we see it coming, and then we choose to ignore it.

In a way, looking at my dad has taught me a lot about myself. In fact, what I do is exactly the opposite of what my dad does. Instead of settling for something I’m going to regret settling for, I opt to take the best that I can have without looking back. If you pull a string to tight, it will snap, if you don’t pull it enough, it won’t play. Unfortunately, my only encounter with Buddah is was from the movie Little Buddah starring Keanu Reeves back in the day so I can’t double check that quote but I’m pretty sure he was talking about some kind of instrument.

Blogs are hard. I can’t stay coherent and spontaneous at the same time. Without planning the whole thing before I even get started.

Now that I know that my dad and I are exactly the same in being completely opposite, every frustration I used to feel about my dad’s little problem, just became a frustration of my own. My shoulders are beginning to weigh down on me.

Narcissist or just boring?

2007-06-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

To put you into context. For more than a year, I haven't written anything that I feel, shows what I'm capable of as a writer. Pathetic as it may sound, I feel like I've already peaked as a writer at the age of 20 when I became a fellow at the Heights workshop in Ateneo and I can't seem to find my voice anymore. My peers are pulling ahead, winning various national awards and more importantly, writing very impressive works. I, on the otherhand, just started writing a blog. I just started writing this blog.

In the last year, I've had ideas for stories, I've jotted them down on scratch paper and keyed them into my cell phone, typed them into a word file that never seems to go beyond page one. And now that the pressure is on to write again and hopefully finish my last year of college with a boom, I find myself resorting to compiling these bits and pieces of story and trying to write them as one. So far, the result is turning into some creature that I never meant to write at all, but more than that, I'm worried about how easily I was able to stitch all these different characters into one without coming up with some kind of contradition in their personality and traits.
I've come to the conclusion that they're not far enough away from my own personality to be characters in themselves. This leads me to two possible conclusions, either I'm a narcissit who thinks that people would find my own life so interesting that they'd read about it or I'm just plain boring. I have no good ideas. I might as well give up or worse, I've already given up.

To be continued...

Third attempt and other garbage

2007-06-15T01:08:00.000-07:00

As the title of this entry so bluntly states, this is my third attempt at a blog. Needless to say, the other two are dead. They're kulangot the network of nasal folicles that we commonly refer to as the world wide web. They're e-grabage and i-shit.

Truth be told, I don't expect very many people to read this blog but I need to practice my writing and the thought of how many half filled journals I have lying around the house from my childhood to my late adolescence makes me cringe with the idea that I'm wasting one more leaf off of one more tree that should be out there providing us with oxygen to breath and nourishment to eat. On the other hand, maybe if I have a blog and a journal, the options might help to motivate me. But that's a digression not meant to be elaborated on for today. Besides, that would totally pull the rug out from under the fist sentence of my second paragraph.

A little bit about myself:

I write.
I climb mountains.
I go to college
I go to mass in a Catholic church.
I love my parents.
I travel as far as I can for as long as I can get away and as frequently as possible for as cheap as remains convenient.

But more importantly:

I used to climb rocks and walls.
I used to run.
I used to play the piano.
I used to design posters and t-shirts.
I used to sketch pictures.
I used to go boxing.
I used to go rowing.
I used to play capoeira.
I used to read books.
I used to be in a band.
I used to do archery.
I used to bike everywhere.

I have a tendency to sacrifice everything that I have going for me in exchange for one thing that I feel like doing at the time. My entire life, my mom has been telling me that I should learn to balance my work. I have yet to learn.

I would have left the country to follow my second girlfriend to the states and I almost left the country for Japan on scholarship (that I didn't get) effectively leaving my current girlfriend behind.

In those video games where you get to choose your own character at the begining and you can never go back and change your mind, I always choose the most well rounded character like Ferrik from Children of Mana and the red mages of the Final Fantasy series. I never choose the ones that can be experts at weapons but weak in magic or vice versa. Then I'd get tired of him and play with the other cool characters.

Oh yeah, I'm twenty-one and I still play those kind of video games.

My name is Andrew Robles.